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Talk about a person who has important influence on you

Talk about a person who has important influence on you XlbAN
A family is a unit. All the people have a significant influence on my life. Every family member has importance for me in his or her way, but the person who has had more impact on me is my mother. Her name is Hao, she's over forty years old. She's quite short and has a great personality. My dad says that she's an interesting and funny person. I know my mom from the beginning of my life as she and my dad brought me into this world. She was looking after me since my birth, and I have a deep attachment with her. She is the person with whom I spent most of my time in my childhood. My mother’s influence in shaping me into the person I am today is monumental. It’s because of my mother that I learnt how to work as hard and relentlessly as I could, and then “rising” again and again after failing. She taught me about the world - its magic and hardship, people and our relationship, and the importance of morality in life. She helped me with my education and has devoted her life to properly raise me. Finally, I think my mother was and still is a “strict” person with a bit “temper” because of working relentlessly to raise her family against many adversities, but I have never seen her failing in short when it came to showing the love for her family and children, no matter how bad the situation is. And, it is because of my mother, I have learnt to appreciate love and family more than anything in this world.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a unit. All the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a significant influence on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member has importance for me in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who has had more impact on me is my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
. Her name is
'Hao' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "hào"
Hao
, she's over forty years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. She's quite short and has a great personality. My dad says that she's an interesting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. I know my mom from the beginning of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as she and my dad brought me into this world. She was looking after me since my birth, and I have a deep attachment with her. She is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with whom I spent most of my time in my childhood. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother’s
influence in shaping me into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is monumental. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
that I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to work as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
relentlessly
as I could, and then “rising” again and again after failing. She taught me about the world
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
its magic and hardship,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and our relationship, and the importance of morality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me with my education and has devoted her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to
properly
raise me.
Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
was and
still
is a “strict”
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a bit “temper”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of working
relentlessly
to raise her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adversities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
her failing in short when it came to showing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and children, no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
the situation is. And, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
, I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to appreciate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
more than anything in this world.
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IELTS essay Talk about a person who has important influence on you

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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