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Syrian refugees", A card in the internal political conflict

Syrian refugees", A card in the internal political conflict dr1DK
A great tension has been sparked after the Ankara riots that took place weeks ago, this tension affects not only Turkish society but even among Syrian refugees residing in Turkey. The riots came after inflammatory statements from some opposition political parties, which can be described as a proactive election campaign that seeks to crowd and mobilize the masses Rioters usually constitute a social event that should not be ignored or considered as a temporary situation, especially if such events are repeated or involved hostile behaviors targeting a specific segment of society. Such behaviors must not be met only with pacifying speeches on media or even political statements, but it needs a strategic plan that can contain the problem and prevent its recurrence so it cant be used by someone for destructive purposes. A LOOK AT THE TURKISH SCENE It is clear that the instigating media campaigns against Syrians on social media have taken a more organized approach and have repeated with a higher frequency, which indicates that these parties want to invest the refugee's issues to the fullest extent, whatever its cost On the other hand, it was remarkable that these campaigns used a lot of misleading information, whether about the "good situations inside Syria" or about the aids that Syrians receive. They ignored the reality of what is happening in "Dar 'a" governorate, which has been besieging and bumping by the Assad regime for months, and the deaths that are falling daily in Idlib near Turkish military bases. All of that is in order to increase the public anger between Turkish who are suffering due to the economic crisis and the Corona pandemic Some politicians also made false promises to their electors that they will return the Syrian refugees to their country within two years after they win, but these promises are clearly misleading and hiding important information indicating that the presence of refugees is related to Turkey's signing of the Geneva Convention in 1961, which is binding on all countries with moral and legal obligations that cannot be easily overridden or evaded. On the other hand, solving the Syrian refugee's problem can only be achieved within the framework of a United Nations political solution agreed to by the States concerned, and it is, therefore, greater than a single political party or State efforts There has also been a clear shift when the incitement of social media campaigns transferred to the street, and the electronic armies who were involving the Hashtags have been turned into groups and teams working on the ground and destroying, breaking up everything owned by the Syrians according to previously prepared lists counted the Syrian shops and homes. while the security forces and police appear powerless, couldn't incapable of security and law enforce, or protecting civilians The campaign's organizers may think that they have succeeded in mobilizing the street, but they have not been aware of the danger of what they are doing. Encouraging the masses to go beyond the rule of law is a threat to civil peace in society. It means that any future dispute that may happen between any political, social, or other parties will turn into an internal division and each party will try to achieve success even if they cross all the red lines
A great tension has
been sparked
after the Ankara riots that took place weeks ago, this tension affects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Turkish society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even among Syrian refugees residing in Turkey.

The riots came after inflammatory statements from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opposition political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
as a proactive election
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
that seeks to crowd and mobilize the masses

Rioters
usually
constitute a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
or considered as a temporary situation,
especially
if such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are repeated
or involved hostile behaviors targeting a specific segment of society.

Such behaviors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be met
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with pacifying speeches on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
or even political statements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it needs a strategic plan that can contain the problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
its recurrence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by someone for destructive purposes.

A LOOK AT THE TURKISH SCENE

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the instigating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaigns
against Syrians on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have taken a more organized approach and have repeated with a higher frequency, which indicates that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
want to invest the refugee's issues to the fullest extent, whatever its cost

On the other hand
, it was remarkable that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaigns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
misleading information, whether about the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situations inside Syria
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
or about the aids that Syrians receive.

They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
the reality of what is happening in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dar
'a
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
governorate, which has been besieging and bumping by the Assad regime for months, and the deaths that are falling daily in Idlib near Turkish military bases.

All of
that is
in order to increase the public anger between Turkish who are suffering due to the economic crisis and the Corona pandemic

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
politicians
also
made false promises to their electors that they will return the Syrian refugees to their country within two years after they win,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these promises are
clearly
misleading and hiding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information indicating that the presence of refugees
is related
to Turkey's signing of the Geneva Convention in 1961, which is binding on all countries with moral and legal obligations that cannot be
easily
overridden or evaded.

On the other hand
, solving the Syrian refugee's problem can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
within the framework of a United Nations political solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to by the States concerned, and it is,
therefore
, greater than a single political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
or State efforts

There has
also
been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
shift when the incitement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaigns
transferred to the street, and the electronic armies who
The verb 'involving' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
were involving
the Hashtags have
been turned
into groups and teams working on the ground and destroying, breaking up everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by the Syrians according to previously prepared lists counted the Syrian shops and homes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
the security forces and police appear powerless, couldn't incapable of security and law enforce, or protecting civilians

The campaign's organizers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they have succeeded in mobilizing the street,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have not been aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of what they are doing.

Encouraging the masses to go beyond the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of law is a threat to civil peace in society. It means that any future dispute that may happen between any political,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
, or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
will turn into an internal division and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
will try to achieve success even if they cross all the red
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lines
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IELTS essay Syrian refugees", A card in the internal political conflict

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
543 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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