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Surveys Show That In Many Countries People Are Living Longer

Surveys Show That In Many Countries People Are Living Longer Q2OmX
The average life expectancy of people has increased over the years. This has both positive and negative aspects. On the bright side, it allows people to enjoy their lives for longer periods, fulfil their goals and contribute more to the society. On the down side, it increases the demand for resources and increases the health expenditure. Being able to live a long life is indeed a blessing. Aged people are more experienced and can contribute to the society in various ways. They can be a mentor for your youngsters. They themselves benefit from the longevity because it gives them more time to fulfil their goals. If they are blessed with a happy family, being able to spend more years with them will add greater joy to their lives. On the downside, when people live longer, the population growth will occur at a faster pace and consequently the demand for resources will increase. Close to 8 billion people live on earth today. Providing for all of them is already a difficult task. If the birth rate continues at the current rate and the death rate reduces, there will be an even bigger shortage of resources and eventually that will reduce the quality of living. Another downside is the increased burden on the health sector. Aged people will invariably have more health problems than young people and when they live longer, either they themselves or the government will have to spend more on their healthcare. In either case, this is a burden on the public exchequer. In short, there is no denying the fact that longer life expectancy is desirable. However, it has both beneficial and detrimental impacts on the aged people and the society. It gives seniors more time to enjoy their life and achieve their goals. Unfortunately, as people will suffer from health problems as they age, their quality of living will decrease and the burden on the healthcare system will increase.
The average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has increased over the years. This has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. On the bright side, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
periods, fulfil their goals and contribute more to the society. On the
Did you mean "downside"?
down side
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the demand for resources and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
expenditure.

Being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
indeed
a blessing. Aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more experienced and can contribute to the society in various ways. They can be a mentor for your youngsters. They themselves benefit from the longevity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives them more time to fulfil their goals. If they
are blessed
with a happy family, being able to spend more years with them will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
greater joy to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the downside, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
, the population growth will occur at a faster pace and
consequently
the demand for resources will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
. Close to 8 billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Providing for all of them is already a difficult task. If the birth rate continues at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
rate and the death rate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
, there will be an even bigger shortage of resources and
eventually
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the quality of living. Another downside is the increased burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector. Aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
invariably
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems than young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
, either they themselves or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more on their healthcare. In either case, this is a burden on the public exchequer.

In short, there is no denying the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy is desirable.
However
, it has both beneficial and detrimental impacts on the aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the society. It gives seniors more time to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and achieve their goals. Unfortunately, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems as they age, their quality of living will decrease and the burden on the healthcare system will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
.
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IELTS essay Surveys Show That In Many Countries People Are Living Longer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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