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SURVEY OF PEOPLE VISITING TOURIST ATTRACTION IN BRITAIN

During the last years technolgy has become very important in our daily lives, we use technology in our homes, study places or work places and even in our car. Technology can help us to make our daily task simplier, for example with the kitchen itmes we can chop our vegetables in just few seconda or fry without oil, in our jobs the computer has become and indespensble item, we can communicate with clients that are in other countries trough a video call or write them an e-mail, we can write reports, make presentations or even organize our agendas. With technology we are able to get more knowledge thanks to the internet, we can make research, learn other languages, watch the experience of other people that are living in other countries. We can be closer to our families if we are living far from them, because with one call or message we can contact them on minutes, before it was really expensive and even hard to find a place to do it, now with video calls we are able evento cook a dinner with those who are far. There are many advantages with use of technology but also there are disadvantages, we are becoming really attach to technology and we are expending huge amount of time on our phone or tablets, sometime we even forgot to have a conversation with our friends during a meal because we are quite focus watching our social media. Also we are becoming really lazy, for example the use of calculator has made us forget to make simple math calculations and depend always on the use of technology. I think technology is amazing, but is really important that we can always remember to live and enjoy things in real life, not to live all ofour experiences through our phones or computers
During the last years
Possible spelling mistake found.
technolgy
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in our homes, study places or work places and even in our car.

Technology can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our daily task
Possible spelling mistake found.
simplier
,
for example
with the kitchen
Possible spelling mistake found.
itmes
we can chop our vegetables in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
few
Possible spelling mistake found.
seconda
or fry without oil, in our jobs the computer has become and
Possible spelling mistake found.
indespensble
item, we can communicate with clients that are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries trough a video call or write them an e-mail, we can write reports,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
presentations or even organize our agendas.

With
The comma is probably missing here: "technology, we".
technology we
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge thanks to the internet, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
research, learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
languages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

We can be closer to our families if we are living far from them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with one call or message we can contact them on minutes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
expensive and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a place to do it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
with video calls we are able
Possible spelling mistake found.
evento
cook a dinner with those who are far.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are disadvantages, we are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
attach to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
technology and
we are expending huge amount of time on our phone or tablets, sometime we even forgot to have a conversation with our friends during a meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are quite
Consider using a past participle here: "focused", "focussed".
focus
watching our social media.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
we are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
lazy,
for example
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of calculator has made us forget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
simple math calculations and
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'depend'.
depend always
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is amazing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we can always remember to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and enjoy things in real life, not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
all
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofour
experiences through our phones or computers
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IELTS essay SURVEY OF PEOPLE VISITING TOURIST ATTRACTION IN BRITAIN

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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