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surveillance cameras are now installed in many shops ans supermarkets to prevent shoplifting. but many people are agianst this because they think it is a disregard of privacy. what is your opinion ?

surveillance cameras are now installed in many shops ans supermarkets to prevent shoplifting. but many people are agianst this because they think it is a disregard of privacy. what is your opinion? DNx9E
Nowadays, many minds advocate the installation of numerous surveillance cameras preventing high level of shoplifting in shops and supermarkets. However, some others have raised protests agaisnt this since it is regarded as an intrusion on privacy. The following paragraphs will discuss both views and give my own thinking. On the one hand, it is no-brainer that the omnipresence of such technical equipment like security cameras benefits the social progress. Admittedly, widespread surveillance in public areas makes great contribution to shoplifting reduction as videos and images are a tangible evidence recorded properly, which prevents shoplifters from engaging in unlawful activities. Furthermore, apart from that, surveillance cameras also play an important role in protecting the society from likle threats and providing people with a sense of safety and security. Therefore, it is not groundless for some people to support the ubiquity of the survellance of cameras. On the other hand, despite the great benefits that security cameras offer to the society, others have a strong voice against the pervasiveness of them. It is undeniable that individual freedom, which is the top priority needs taking into consideration as the customers may feel uneasy, is somehow grossly violated. For instance, every single moment they go to the shooping mall, their faces and activities are constantly observed and recorded by those electronic devices, sent to the security organisations and analyzed if necessary. Therefore, it is plausible for some shops owners to respect and protect their customers privacy. In sum, notwithstanding such enormous advantages brought by surveillance camera, every customers deserve a sense of privacy when partcipating in several activities. Therefore, other different measures should be taken to replace the ubiquity of those devices.
Nowadays,
many
minds advocate the installation of numerous
surveillance
cameras
preventing high level of shoplifting in shops and supermarkets.
However
,
some
others have raised protests
agaisnt
this since it
is regarded
as an intrusion on privacy. The following paragraphs will discuss both views and give my
own
thinking.

On the one hand, it is no-brainer that the omnipresence of such technical equipment like
security
cameras
benefits the social progress.
Admittedly
, widespread
surveillance
in public areas
makes
great contribution to shoplifting reduction as videos and images are a tangible evidence recorded
properly
, which
prevents
shoplifters from engaging in unlawful activities.
Furthermore
, apart from that,
surveillance
cameras
also
play an
important
role in protecting the society from
likle
threats and providing
people
with a sense of safety and
security
.
Therefore
, it is not groundless for
some
people
to support the ubiquity of the
survellance
of cameras.

On the
other
hand, despite the great benefits that
security
cameras
offer to the society, others have a strong voice against the pervasiveness of them. It is undeniable that individual freedom, which is the top priority needs taking into consideration as the customers may feel uneasy, is somehow
grossly
violated.
For instance
, every single moment they go to the
shooping
mall, their faces and activities are
constantly
observed and recorded by those electronic devices,
sent
to the
security
organisations
and analyzed if necessary.
Therefore
, it is plausible for
some
shops owners to respect and protect their customers privacy.

In sum, notwithstanding such enormous advantages brought by
surveillance
camera
, every
customers
deserve a sense of privacy when
partcipating
in several activities.
Therefore
,
other
different
measures should
be taken
to replace the ubiquity of those devices.
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IELTS essay surveillance cameras are now installed in many shops ans supermarkets to prevent shoplifting. but many people are agianst this because they think it is a disregard of privacy. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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