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student majoring in engineering may take course in fine arts

student majoring in engineering may take course in fine arts oV9Nw
It is a generally accepted fact that education is of paramount importance for having a comfortable and fulfilling life; in fact, so valuable can one's education be that most of the efforts people make from the early ages until the late twenties is often dedicated to learning and studying new subjects. University has a significant impact on one's life and growth by holding some extra programs for students. In this case, some controversy arises as to what kind of program is suitable for students' future. There are many people who contend that taking some courses which are not related to the main major is efficient on the contrary some of them argue that working in a city in order to improve some aspect of life is beneficial for students. I personally concur with the latter one. The rationale behind this thesis will be investigated through two reasons in what follows. The first reason that comes to mind at first is that working during education enriches students' experience. In today's competitive and sophisticated world, everyone strives to elevate their skills in order to have a better life. If the university provides the opportunity for students to work, they will learn new skills. Although taking extra courses increases students' knowledge, working outside of university provides the condition to use their knowledge in a practical manner. By entering the workplace, students learn plenty of responsibilities and gain invaluable insight into the real world. According to a recently conducted study at the University of Texas, over 87 percent of students who work during their education are more successful than just studying and do not have any work experience. It clearly shows that working in leisure time of students gives them a feeling they are moving forward. Thus, the more skills students learn, the more experience they have. Second, should students work in the break between university semesters, they will improve their self-confidence. Having self-confidence in various aspects of life plays a crucial role in one's success and happiness. Students who have no experience working outside of schools and universities have no self-confidence to stand on their feet and experience independent life. Take my personal experience as an example; ten years ago, when I was undergraduate student, I worked in the Computer laboratory of our university between university semesters. Before that, I used to be a shy person. By entering the laboratory, I learned how to communicate with my classmate and professor and learned how to use my failure to reach my dreams. Had I not worked at our professor's lab, I would not have had great self-confidence now. Therefore, working help student to learn something that may not experience at university. Having analyzed the aforementioned ideas and reasoning, one can safely surmise that education and working play a vital role in success and growth. This is because of not only enriches students' experience but also it will improve their self-confidence. Let us hope that whole students all over the world be happy and prosperous in all aspects of their lives.
It is a
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is of paramount importance for having a comfortable and fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; in fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
valuable can one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
be that most of the efforts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
from the early ages until the late twenties is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
dedicated to learning and studying new subjects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
has a significant impact on one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and growth by holding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra programs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In this case
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
controversy arises as to what kind of program is suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
future. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who contend that taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses which are not related to the main major is efficient
on the contrary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a city in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
personally
concur with the latter one. The rationale behind this thesis will
be investigated
through two reasons in what follows.

The
first
reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind at
first
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
enriches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive and sophisticated world, everyone strives to elevate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in order to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
provides the opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Although taking extra courses increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
outside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
provides the condition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their knowledge
Consider replacing "in a practical manner" with the adverb for "practical"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a practical manner
. By entering the workplace,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of responsibilities and gain invaluable insight into the real world. According to a recently conducted study at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Texas, over 87 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are more successful than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
studying and do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. It
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in leisure time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gives them a feeling they are moving forward.
Thus
, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
they have.

Second, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the break between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
semesters, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-confidence
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-confidence
in various aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
plays a crucial role in one's success and happiness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
outside of schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-confidence
to stand on their feet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Take my personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
as an example; ten years ago, when I was undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I worked in the Computer laboratory of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
semesters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a shy person. By entering the laboratory, I learned how to communicate with my classmate and professor and learned how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my failure to reach my dreams. Had I not worked at our professor's lab, I would not have had great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-confidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
something that may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
at university.

Having analyzed the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and reasoning, one can
safely
surmise that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
play a vital role in success and growth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enriches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-confidence
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us hope that whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
all over the world be happy and prosperous in all aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay student majoring in engineering may take course in fine arts

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
506 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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