Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Supporting children in every situation has been a crucial problem in some countries.

Supporting children in every situation has been a crucial problem in some countries. XngKA
In some countries, the kids are told that they can be successful with any kind of activities by the families. Supporting the child is necessary and very significant for their social development. On the other hand; this kind of message can sometimes harm the child's self-esteem. Therefore, there are pros and cons to telling them this kind of message. There are disadvantages to conveying these messages to children all the time. One of the disadvantages of this situation can be related to children’s self-esteem. When the children are told that they can do everything, they will believe and try hard to get an achievement for this activity which might negatively affect their self-esteem. Because children would believe that they can make it but when they would not be able to do it in reality which can bring failure. Therefore, they would be less likely to believe themselves during the other tasks. In addition to this, some of the children tend to be interested in arts or sports on the other hand others can be successful with natural science. A child can't achieve everything in one's and conveying this message gives no real confidence to the children. Also, it is not a realistic point of view. Nevertheless, there is another point of view is that supporting the children in every situation can be beneficial for children’s social and physical development. They can try a variety of activities and find out which one is better for them. Moreover, children can be motivated to finish the work they have started. Even though children are not successful, they at least try to do something and finish the tasks. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to telling the children that they can achieve everything if they work hard. In my opinion, the disadvantages of giving this message can lead to the decrease of children's self-esteem because they are convinced that they will be successful. If they are not, they can lose their motivation to do something on and be sad; on the other hand, the advantage is they can’t be achieving everything but many things. They can try to learn effort for something.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, the kids are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that they can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
with any kind of activities by the families. Supporting the child is necessary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant for their social development. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand; this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
harm the child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-esteem
.
Therefore
, there are pros and cons to telling them this kind of message.

There are disadvantages to conveying these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
messages
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
all the time. One of the disadvantages of this situation can
be related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-esteem
. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that they can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
, they will believe and try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an achievement for this activity which might
negatively
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-esteem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would believe that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they would not be able to do it in reality which can bring failure.
Therefore
, they would be less likely to believe themselves during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
tasks.
In addition
to this,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to
be interested
in arts or sports on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand others can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
with natural science. A child can't achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
in one's and conveying this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
gives no real confidence to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Also
, it is not a realistic point of view.

Nevertheless
, there is another point of view is that supporting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in every situation can be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
social and physical development. They can try a variety of activities and find out which one is better for them.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be motivated
to finish the work they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
, they at least try to do something and finish the tasks.

In conclusion
, there are advantages and disadvantages to telling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that they can achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
if they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. In my opinion, the disadvantages of giving this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
message
can lead to the decrease of children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
self-esteem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are convinced
that they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. If they are not, they can lose their motivation to do something on and be sad; on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the advantage is they can’t be achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things. They can try to learn effort for something.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Supporting children in every situation has been a crucial problem in some countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts