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summarize the percentage of people aged 60 and more in 2000 and 2050

summarize the percentage of people aged 60 and more in 2000 and 2050 NmlNy
The picture illustrates the proportion of people aged 60 and more in 2000 and 2050, and this is served in several continents. Overall, dominating elderly people in Europe had experienced the highest position, while those trends are a significant increase in all continents. Initially, the highest percentage of population elderly people in Europe was almost a quarter, while this in Africa showed the reverse, accounting for 5%. The bracket of aged 60 and over presented the proportion in Latin America having twofold from North America, and also the remaining continents had elderly population from 9% to 14% respectively. In 2050, elderly European will reach the peak, being the highest than the other continents, increasing almost twofold from the former, and this enhancement is predicted to be followed by world total, Africa, and Oceania. Moreover, people aged 60 and more in Asia and Latin America will experience an increase with two-and-a-half fold around 25%, and those in the rest of the continent have been estimated with 28%.
The picture illustrates the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 60 and more in 2000 and 2050, and this
is served
in several continents.

Overall
, dominating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Europe had experienced the highest position, while those trends are a significant increase in all continents.

Initially
, the highest percentage of population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Europe was almost a quarter, while this in Africa
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the reverse, accounting for 5%. The bracket of aged 60 and over presented the proportion in Latin America having twofold from North America, and
also
the remaining continents had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
population from 9% to 14%
respectively
.

In 2050,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
European will reach the peak, being the
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
highest
than the other continents, increasing almost twofold from the former, and this enhancement
is predicted
to
be followed
by world total, Africa, and Oceania.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 60 and more in Asia and Latin America will experience an increase with two-and-a-half fold around 25%, and those in the rest of the continent have
been estimated
with 28%.
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IELTS essay summarize the percentage of people aged 60 and more in 2000 and 2050

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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