Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Sugary products should be more expensive to inspire people consume less sugar.

Sugary products should be more expensive to inspire people consume less sugar. 06KPO
Some people believe that sugary products should be made more costly to inspire society to have less sugar as it is the main reason for many fitness issues. I disagree with this statement as there will be opposite health issues than obesity and it will also have a huge impact on economical growth. A person with big pockets who loves fast food is going to purchase it without thinking about cost as for poor people market products containing sugar won’t be affordable. This is because nowadays measure amount of products contain sugar. So if the cost of sugar rises then the value of other sweetener-containing products Elevate. Because of this lower-class families won’t be able to afford even a cheap product which will lead to the health issue called starvation. For example according to WHO, starvation is one of the major causes of death in human categories from kids to the elderly of developing poor countries. As for some countries, the economy is standing steadily on farming majorly including sugar cane. Alleviating the cost of sugar will harm the market and unbalance the economy of some countries majorly depending on agriculture. as a mass amount of people won't buy expensive daily products containing sugar there will be a huge wastage of it and it will tremble the market of agriculture and fast food. so sooner or later fast-food companies will shut down and the growth of the economy will be going down. For example, a leading financier of agriculture “THE WORLD BANK” Says, developing sugar cane farming is one of the most powerful tools to end extreme poverty, boost shared prosperity and feed a projected 9. 7 billion people by 2050. In conclusion, I disagree that products containing sugar should be more expensive as it can lead to starvation and negative financial growth in some countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be made
more costly to inspire society to have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
as it is the main reason for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fitness issues. I disagree with this statement as there will be opposite health issues than obesity and it will
also
have a huge impact on
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth.

A person with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pockets who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it without thinking about cost as for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
containing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
won’t be affordable.

This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays measure amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
“So if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So if
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
rises then the value of other sweetener-containing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Elevate.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this lower-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families won’t be able to afford even a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which will lead to the health issue called starvation.

For example
according to
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, starvation is one of the major causes of death in human categories from kids to the elderly of developing poor countries.

As for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, the economy is standing
steadily
on farming
majorly
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
cane.

Alleviating the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
will harm the market and unbalance the economy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
majorly
depending on agriculture.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
a mass amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
containing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
there will be a huge wastage of it and it will tremble the market of agriculture and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
sooner or later
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will shut down and the growth of the economy will be going down.

For example
, a leading financier of agriculture “THE WORLD BANK” Says, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
cane farming is one of the most powerful tools to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
extreme poverty, boost shared prosperity and feed a projected 9. 7 billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by 2050.

In conclusion
, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
containing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
should be more expensive as it can lead to starvation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
financial growth in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Sugary products should be more expensive to inspire people consume less sugar.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts