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Successful sportsprofession can earn a great deal more money than people in others other thing othe professional to make money both view give opinion

Successful sportsprofession can earn a great deal more money than people in others other thing othe professional to make money both view give opinion wBdbm
Since sports had a greater influence among people in current competitive era, excessive money should be earned by people as being sportsman. Nevertheless, the experts opine that several other vocationals where people making money by using their talents. Both ideology, therefore, discuss profoundly and then concludes. There are various compelling reason why other vocationals are beneficiaries to making money for. Firstly, in order to produce abundant products in short-term, prominent enterpreneur utilize different machines and modern technology and experts products not only in their country but also foreign countries. As a result they achieve massive success in business. For instance, mukesh Ambani, who is founder of reliance industry, selling jio SIM card in lower rate and earn tremendous amounts. He, thus, comes first rank in business in Asian countries. Secondly, politicians have a positive image in public. Hence, instead of utilize public money to improving some amenities, fee evil politicians retain these money in their pocket. Consequences, they become prosperous. Last but not the least, eminent actors, founder of some noteworthy applications like whatsApp, Instagram have a huge assets as billion of people use these applications in their life. Other masses, however, perspective sports profession provide wider plateform to deal with money owing to it's popularity in international levels. Hence, folks from different countries are fascinated to watch match in stadium. If any player had superb performance, they received not only money but also winning trophy from the authority. Besides, their publicity increase enormously. Hence, sportsman have immense property than ordinary people. To concludes, sports professional cannot be put on the back burner as people make more income and their fan followers also rise, even though there are plethora of advantage if people choose other significant vocational because by less effort people conveniently making lots of money and fulfill their dreams.
Since sports had a greater influence among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
competitive era, excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be earned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as being sportsman.
Nevertheless
, the experts opine that several other
Possible spelling mistake found.
vocationals
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by using their talents. Both ideology,
therefore
, discuss
profoundly
and then concludes.

There are various compelling reason why other
Possible spelling mistake found.
vocationals
are beneficiaries to making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for.
Firstly
, in order to produce abundant products in short-term, prominent
Possible spelling mistake found.
enterpreneur
utilize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
machines and modern technology and experts products not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result they achieve massive success in business.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mukesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
, who is founder of reliance industry, selling
Possible spelling mistake found.
jio
SIM card in lower rate and earn tremendous amounts. He,
thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
first
rank in business in Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Secondly
, politicians have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image in public.
Hence
,
instead
of utilize public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to improving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amenities, fee evil politicians retain these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in their pocket. Consequences, they become prosperous. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, eminent actors, founder of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noteworthy applications like
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsApp
, Instagram
The singular proper name 'Instagram' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "asset"?
assets
as
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these applications in their life.

Other masses,
however
, perspective sports profession provide wider
Possible spelling mistake found.
plateform
to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
owing
Did you mean "to its popularity"?
to it's popularity
in international levels.
Hence
, folks from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are fascinated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
match in stadium. If any player had superb performance, they received not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
winning trophy from the authority.
Besides
, their publicity increase
enormously
.
Hence
, sportsman have immense property than ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To concludes, sports professional cannot
be put
on the back burner as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more income and their fan followers
also
rise,
even though
there are plethora of advantage if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose other significant vocational
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by less effort
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
conveniently
making lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and fulfill their dreams.
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IELTS essay Successful sportsprofession can earn a great deal more money than people in others other thing othe professional to make money both view give opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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