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Some people say luck mainly decides success . To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people say luck mainly decides success. KVKyN
Never before has the topic of success gained such widespread attention. There remains some disagreement as to whether success is mostly resulted from luck. In my opinion on those there are valid arguments to the contrary, I would contend that luck is not a decisive factor On the one hand, it is understandable why some people think luck plays a role in the journey to success. First and foremost Lexi's comes from lucky to be born in families who have stable financial foundation. People were born in these families often tend to be paved the foundation by their parents to fulfil their dreams. They can easily achieve success thanks to direction and money from their parents. In addition people who are fortunate to be born with natural talents and observational skills can easily achieve success. It is understandable why talents people often tend to stand on the top of fame earlier and faster than ordinary people. For instance, actors and singers who constantly earn a huge amount of money from their natural voices or natural acting. However relying on luck is not a long-term development. Admittedly, luck never comes twice. People who rely too much on families budget, often have negative attitudes such as laziness and overdepedent. These people tend to party everyday without thinking too much about job and family finance. This leads to bring them and their parents to the verge of bankruptcy. So how about natural talents? Acording to the analysis, people who were born with natural talents only accounted for 0. 5% worldwide. In conclusion, I believe that to become a successful person at the end of the day, people should not rely on luck because luck is only one of the factor to decides people 's success, not a decisive factor
Never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
has the topic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
gained such widespread attention. There remains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
mostly
resulted from luck. In my opinion on those there are valid arguments to the contrary, I would contend that luck is not a decisive factor On the one hand, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
luck plays a role in the journey to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
First
and foremost
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lexi
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from lucky to
be born
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have stable financial foundation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
were born
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to
be paved
the foundation by their parents to fulfil their dreams. They can
easily
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
thanks to direction and money from their parents. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are fortunate to
be born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and observational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
easily
achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. It is understandable why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to stand on the top of fame earlier and faster than ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, actors and singers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
constantly
earn a huge amount of money from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
voices or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
acting.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
relying on luck is not a long-term development.
Admittedly
, luck never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
twice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
rely too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes such as laziness and
Possible spelling mistake found.
overdepedent
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to party
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
without thinking too much about job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
finance. This leads to bring them and their parents to the verge of bankruptcy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
how about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
?
Possible spelling mistake found.
Acording
to the analysis,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were born
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accounted for 0. 5% worldwide.
In conclusion
, I believe that to become a successful person at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not rely on luck
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
luck is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of the factor to decides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, not a decisive
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
factor
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IELTS essay Some people say luck mainly decides success.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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