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Some people belive that advertisement is important for cumminity other belive that there are some disadvantage of this

Some people belive that advertisement is important for cumminity other belive that there are some disadvantage of this y7W7E
In the contemporary world, many individuals argu that commercials are beneficial for the public, however others opine that there are demerits of this. Although endorsements are fruitful for societies in different ways, I personally believe that there are some negative consequences also. On the one hand, there are myriads of reasons why some people think advertisement is advantageous for society. The first and foremost is providing wide range of information. To elaborate, in the advertisement, particular organization provides all type of details and information about their products such as how to use it, when to use it and price range of product and they use different kind of techniques to make advertisements such as they also make poster about their products, so that illiterate can also understand advertisement and they do not need to read any article. Moreover, advertisements provide employment to the people, as when they need to do TV advertisements they want some people which can help them in their commercials. On the other hand, there numerous causes why masses opposed first view. First of all, they target the youngsters, as they do their endorsements with help of celebrity. For instance the big companies hire some well reputed celebrity for their products, due to this, the followers of particular celebrity get attracted towards that product and they are ready to to buy that thing even they do not have any use of that thing and they create pressure on their parents. Furtheremore, sometimes compnies provide wrong and incomplete information about products sell them to public and create aggression among folks. To conclude, while advertisement have some advantages for society, it also make negative effects on public on different ways such as providing incomplete information.
In the contemporary world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
Possible spelling mistake found.
argu
that commercials are beneficial for the public,
however
others opine that there are demerits of this. Although endorsements are fruitful for societies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, I
personally
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
also
.

On the one hand, there are myriads of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is advantageous for society. The
first
and foremost is providing wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. To elaborate, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, particular organization provides all type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, when to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and price range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of techniques to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
such as they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
poster about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that illiterate can
also
understand
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advertisement and
they do not need to read any article.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
provide employment to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, as when they need to do TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their commercials.

On the other hand
, there numerous causes why masses opposed
first
view.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they target the youngsters, as they do their endorsements with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of celebrity.
For instance
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
hire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
well reputed celebrity for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, due to this, the followers of particular celebrity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted towards that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
product and
they are ready
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that thing even they do not have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
thing and
they create pressure on their parents.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furtheremore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
compnies
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and incomplete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
sell them to public and create aggression among folks.
To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages for society, it
also
Did you mean "makes"?
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on public on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways such as providing incomplete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
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IELTS essay Some people belive that advertisement is important for cumminity other belive that there are some disadvantage of this

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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