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Successful sports professionals make a great deal of more money than people in other professions. Some people think it is justified and some believe that this is unfair

Successful sports professionals make a great deal of more money than people in other professions. Some people think it is justified and some believe that this is unfair x0dpQ
Successful sports professionals’ earnings have long been compared to that earned by people pursuing other important professions. There are people who believe that the large sum of money earned by them is justified, others feel that it is unfair to other important professions. I will be briefly discussing both these views and try to derive my conclusion from them. On one hand, staunch supporters of the sportsmen believe that the money paid to the successful sports professionals is justified. They reason that it is not easy accomplishment to become a successful sportsperson. It requires unwavering dedication, intense training, specialized diets and good medical attention in order to give their best performance. It is an expensive affair and they are simply getting paid their dues. Also, a sportsman can only perform till he is physically fit and free of any injuries, even if they get hurt slightly, they lose out on an entire tournament or series. For example, when the cricketer Sachin Tendulkar was diagnosed with tennis elbow, he had to sit out of all tournaments for a year, which meant he that did not get paid at all during that period. On the other hand, some people believe that other important occupations must get better remuneration and the sportsmen shouldn’t be paid as much. They argue that people pursuing other professions such as medicine, teaching and law to name a few have more of an impact on the society and they play a crucial part in the wellbeing and shaping of the society as we know it. Additionally, they feel that many underpaid professions such as teachers, nurses etc could be paid well if the earnings were to be distributed as per their relevance and importance to the society. In conclusion, I believe that money earned by the sports professionals is justified as they dedicate their entire lives and a great deal of their own money into improving their skill. They only get paid as long as they are successful and it doesn’t prove to be a steady source of income as it is in case of other professions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Successful
sports professionals’ earnings have long
been compared
to that earned by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the large sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
earned by them
is justified
, others feel that it is unfair to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
. I will be
briefly
discussing both these views and try to derive my conclusion from them.

On one hand, staunch supporters of the sportsmen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
sports professionals
is justified
. They reason that it is not easy accomplishment to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
sportsperson. It requires unwavering dedication, intense training, specialized diets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medical attention in order to give their best performance. It is an expensive
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
affair and
they are
simply
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
their dues.
Also
, a sportsman can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
perform till he is
physically
fit and free of any injuries, even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt
slightly
, they lose out on an entire tournament or series.
For example
, when the cricketer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
was diagnosed
with tennis elbow, he had to sit out of all tournaments for a year, which meant he that did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
at all during that period.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
occupations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better remuneration and the sportsmen shouldn’t be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
as much. They argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
such as medicine, teaching and law to name a few have more of an impact on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they play a crucial part in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
and shaping of the society as we know it.
Additionally
, they feel that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
such as teachers, nurses etc could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
well if the earnings were to
be distributed
as per their relevance and importance to the society.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
earned by the sports professionals
is justified
as they dedicate their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and a great deal of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
into improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
as long as they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
and it doesn’t prove to be a steady source of income as it is in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
.
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IELTS essay Successful sports professionals make a great deal of more money than people in other professions. Some people think it is justified and some believe that this is unfair

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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