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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think successful athletes deserve more wealth than other professionals, while others consider this unfair. Sportspeople achieving international athletic awards are representing their homeland, therefore they are uprising their country level worldwide. Governmental and even private companies mostly invest on sports professionals because these people can bring back lots of money and also reputations by winning competitions. Secondly, some sports can cause harm to the athletes like wrestling, boxing or weightlifting. Professionals in these fields of sports need hard trainings and special food diets which demands massive money and also after each competition they need medical aids. Sometimes these injuries are that intensive that they may become paralyzed for the rest of his life. To become successful in sports the person should be trained from childhood. Sportspeople are diligent and hardworking people who spend most of their life on training and exercising. These people can merely stay in sport contests after their forties because there is age boundaries in most sports. They would not earn money after a particular age, thus this is completely fair being paid sufficiently during their work. Some may argue that sport is a hobby, while other professions like health care or engineering are essential for the society. They also believe that some sports professionals stop trying for higher levels of achievement after they become wealthy, and high incomes are deterrent factors indeed. In my opinion, nowadays sport is not just a leisure activity. People’s health is in danger due to less physical activities caused by technological developments, so sport can encourage people to take care of their bodies. I also disagree the second opponent statement because human greed for money is unlimited, sports professionals may be rich but they always try harder for becoming wealthier. In conclusion, I believe athletes earning more money than other professionals is completely fair because they mostly risk their health during competitions and also have a limit time to make money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
successful athletes deserve more wealth than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, while others consider this unfair.

Sportspeople achieving international athletic awards are representing their homeland,
therefore
they are uprising their country level worldwide. Governmental and even private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
mostly
invest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can bring back lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
also
reputations by winning competitions.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can cause harm to the athletes like wrestling, boxing or weightlifting.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Professionals
in these fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
trainings and special food diets which demands massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
also
after each competition they need medical aids.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
these injuries are that intensive that they may become paralyzed for the rest of his life.

To become successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
the person should
be trained
from childhood. Sportspeople are diligent and hardworking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend most of their life on training and exercising. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
merely
stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
contests after their forties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is age boundaries in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They would not earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
after a particular age,
thus
this is completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
being paid
sufficiently
during their work.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “argues”.
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a hobby, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
professions like health care or engineering are essential for the society. They
also
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
trying for higher levels of achievement after they become wealthy, and high incomes are deterrent factors
indeed
. In my opinion, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a leisure activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
health is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
due to less physical activities caused by technological developments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take care of their bodies. I
also
disagree the second opponent statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human greed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is unlimited
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
may be rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they always try harder for becoming wealthier.

In conclusion
, I believe athletes earning more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
is completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their health during competitions and
also
have a limit time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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