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Successful people can conquer their previous goals

Successful people can conquer their previous goals NwMLg

Successful people can conquer their previous goals despite experiencing several setbacks, but they continue to pursue and reap more valuable experiences. Being successful is never easy to do, and It may be regarded as a challenging process and takes a lot of time towards the goal. How do I achieve success? First, learning is one the most significant factors for high achievements. I try to figure out how to study effectively and improve my weaknesses. Second, perseverance is crucial for continuing to pursue a dream job. Sometimes, I am filled with despair since I have failed a lot, and everyone is more talented and intelligent than me. But after that, I regained my spirit and encouraged myself to keep going. Finally, I need high concentration in studying and working. For example, when focusing on doing things will improve my productivity. On the other hand, it also helps me to deepen my understanding of the complex concept

Successful This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 can conquer their previous goals despite experiencing several setbacks, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 they continue to pursue and reap more valuable experiences. Being successful is never easy to do, and It may be regarded
 as a challenging process and takes This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
 time towards the goal. How do I achieve success? First
, learning is Did you mean "one of"?one of
one
 the most significant factors for high achievements. I try to figure out how to study effectively
 and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 my weaknesses. Second, perseverance is crucial for continuing to pursue a dream job. This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :in some instances
Sometimes
, I am filled
 with despair since I have failed a lot, and everyone is more talented and intelligent than me. This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
But
 after that, I regained my spirit and encouraged myself to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
 going. Finally
, I need high concentration in studying and working. For example
, when focusing on doing things will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorate
improve
 my productivity. On the other hand
, it also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assists
helps
 me to deepen my understanding of the complex Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphconcept.concept!concept?concept:concept,concept;
concept

IELTS essay Successful people can conquer their previous goals

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

155 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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