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style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged? To what extent do you agree?

style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged? 9L6Jx
The pace of life has increased in recent years as a result of that, many health predicaments have occurred, for instance: stress, work-pressure and depression etc. Some people claim that the health problems caused by a modern lifestyle can be treated only by conventional medicine. This essay will argue that the illnesses due to current lifestyle are not genuinely healed by folk medicine. Many people have thought that conventional cure is the only method to treat health problems related to a modern lifestyle for many various reasons. Firstly, many people had tried scientific medicine, which is prescribed either by a family doctor or specialist physician, and they did not feel better and vice versa. Secondly, some people have religious thoughts that certain species of flowers will cure them more than modern medicine, and that aids to enhance their mental wellness. For instance, when my brother had come after a long day’s work, he always have had a headache and depression which is healed only by drinking tea with a certain type of flowers. On the other hand, there is a fact in scientific medicine “The personal experiences is not a rule and it still unscientific idea unless it was proven by practical method” that means folk medicine is not a scientific field. Moreover, many of cures prescribed by a traditional medicine can kill the person who had them. For example, my friend who is working in a government hospital, told me that he has seen many people were dying due to conventional medicine. Overall, treating by a folk medicine is not a science, and can be extremely hazards to the wellness. This essay argued that why some people prefer folk medicine to heal their sickness, and the hazardous influences of that kind of medicine. In my opinion, I completely disagree with individuals who select conventional medicine, and I recommend everyone to see a specialist physician and commit with the doctor's instructions.
The pace of life has increased in recent years
as a result
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health predicaments have occurred,
for instance
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, work-pressure and depression etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the health problems caused by a modern lifestyle can
be treated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. This essay will argue that the illnesses due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyle are not
genuinely
healed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
medicine.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
cure is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
method to treat health problems related to a modern lifestyle for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various reasons.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had tried scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
, which
is prescribed
either by a family doctor or specialist physician, and they did not feel better and vice versa.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have religious thoughts that certain species of flowers will cure them more than modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
, and that aids to enhance their mental wellness.
For instance
, when my brother had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after a long day’s work, he always
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
had a headache and depression which
is healed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by drinking tea with a certain type of flowers.

On the other hand
, there is a fact in scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
“The personal experiences is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and it
still
unscientific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
unless it
was proven
by practical method” that means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is not a scientific field.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of cures prescribed by a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
can kill the person who had them.
For example
, my friend who is working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hospital,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were dying due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
.
Overall
, treating by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is not a science, and can be
extremely
hazards to the wellness.

This essay argued that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
folk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
to heal their sickness, and the hazardous influences of that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with individuals who select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
, and I recommend everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a specialist physician and commit with the doctor's instructions.
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IELTS essay style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicine should be encouraged?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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