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Some people say football players who have talent are the best. Others say players who learn the skill are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say football players who have talent are the best. Others say players who learn the skill are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion OV6jk
One can acquire football skills and play well. However, football talent would give one some advantages such as consistency and creativity, which would probably help one to become the best player, according to some people and I. Others, on the other hand, think that acquiring football skills can help one become the best football player. Majority of people who acquired football skills by training tend to train harder in order to stay afloat in their career, which demands for high energy. This energy could be used well enough when players are at younger age, but it depreciates as they get older. Since energy is the main source of performance that brings about consistency that keeps trained-footballers at their best, the performance of such player tend to depreciate, resulting in dropping consistency, which appears to be the yardstick to determine the best football player. In summary, even as they train well to be the best, trained-players do not often consistently perform at their highest level due to age and fatigue. On the contrary, talented-footballers appear to have the energy and ability to perform at the highest level and become the best in their prime. This is because they often train for as little as possible to achieve as much as possible, reserving their energy till older age. One example of such player is Cristiano Ronaldo, who has been in active football for 24 years and still fit enough to perform. Another reason that talented players seem to be the best is because they can create new skills such as dribbling, or perhaps easier method of performing an existing skill, thereby achieving results in shorter time and with little effort. These abilities seem to give talented-footballers an advantage over others, as they seem to be consistent, reliable and creative, yielding better results than trained-players. In conclusion, becoming the best footballer through acquisition of football skills is somewhat difficult and, as such, requires too much effort and consistency that seems almost impossible. For this reason, I believe that talent is required to be best football player
One can acquire
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football
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skills
and play well.
However
,
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football
talent would give one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages such as
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consistency
and creativity, which would
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one to become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and I. Others,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that acquiring
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football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
player.

Majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who acquired
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football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by training tend to train harder in order to stay afloat in their career, which demands for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. This
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energy
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
when
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players
are at younger age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it depreciates as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older. Since
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energy
is the main source of performance that brings about
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consistency
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
trained-footballers at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
, the performance of such
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player
tend to depreciate, resulting in dropping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consistency
, which appears to be the yardstick to determine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
. In summary, even as they train well to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
, trained-players do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
consistently
perform at their highest level due to age and fatigue.

On the contrary
, talented-footballers appear to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and ability to perform at the highest level and become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
in their prime. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
train for as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
as possible to achieve as much as possible, reserving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
till older age. One example of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
is Cristiano Ronaldo, who has been in active
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football
for 24 years and
still
fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to perform. Another reason that talented
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players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seem
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can create new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as dribbling, or perhaps easier method of performing an existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, thereby achieving results in shorter time and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort. These abilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seem
to give talented-footballers an advantage over others, as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seem
to be consistent, reliable and creative, yielding better results than trained-players.

In conclusion
, becoming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
footballer through acquisition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is somewhat difficult and, as such, requires too much effort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consistency
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seems
almost impossible.
For this reason
, I believe that talent
is required
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
player
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IELTS essay Some people say football players who have talent are the best. Others say players who learn the skill are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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