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studying in abroad for parts of the education is going increasingly high. Do the advantages out weigh the disadvantages?

studying in abroad for parts of the education is going increasingly high. Do the advantages out weigh the disadvantages? 06EVQ
Although enrolling into overseas colleges for tertiary education seems to be a soaring trend among graduates, which may lead to obtaining lucrative professions through a highly sophisticated study environment: this, however, may well be an exorbitantly expensive task. In my sentiment, students are far better off having studied on foreign soil despite the costly expenses they ought to pay. Upon receipt of an opportunity to learn an advanced curriculum under the modernized, comfortable infrastructure nature, graduates may intuitively concentrate on studies and complete graduation, which, on the one hand, direct them toward gaining well-paid employments under comprehensive fringe benefits. To exemplify, Apple Inc has offered management trainee jobs to graduate passed-out students from Canadian Universities. Hence, diverting to international colleges for partial studies might overwhelmingly be a prerogative. On the other hand, although studying on international grounds has inevitable outcomes and progress, the study period outside the home country means exorbitant expenses: if the students, meanwhile, fail to meet timely payments, he could have adverse repercussions. For example, my cousin who studied in Australia had to return to his homeland during the pandemic despite being unable to earn the required living expenses. Ultimately, the so-called experience of undergoing financial burdens ought to raise devastating impacts on learners, which, therefore, will end up in counterproductive results. In conclusion, despite the high achievement of career perspective via well organized education system, living and program fee in universities beyond the local, are costly. In spite of such condition, still the number of enrollment towards overseas higher studies are climbing dramatically which heralds the fact that thus far the merits are far better than the demerits, in consideration of long term achievements.
Although enrolling into overseas colleges for tertiary education seems to be a soaring trend among graduates, which may lead to obtaining lucrative professions through a
highly
sophisticated
study
environment: this,
however
, may well be an
exorbitantly
expensive task. In my sentiment, students are far better off having studied on foreign soil despite the costly expenses they ought to pay.

Upon receipt of an opportunity to learn an advanced curriculum under the modernized, comfortable infrastructure nature, graduates may
intuitively
concentrate on
studies
and complete graduation, which, on the one hand, direct them toward gaining well-paid employments under comprehensive fringe benefits. To exemplify, Apple Inc has offered management trainee jobs to graduate passed-out students from Canadian Universities.
Hence
, diverting to international colleges for partial
studies
might
overwhelmingly
be a prerogative.

On the other hand
, although studying on international grounds has inevitable outcomes and progress, the
study
period outside the home country means exorbitant expenses: if the students, meanwhile, fail to
meet
timely payments, he could have adverse repercussions.
For example
, my cousin who studied in Australia had to return to his homeland during the pandemic despite being unable to earn the required living expenses.
Ultimately
, the
so
-called experience of undergoing financial burdens ought to raise devastating impacts on learners, which,
therefore
, will
end
up in counterproductive results.

In conclusion
, despite the high achievement of career perspective via well organized education system, living and program fee in universities beyond the local, are costly.
In spite of
such condition,
still
the number of enrollment towards overseas higher
studies
are climbing
dramatically
which heralds the fact that
thus
far the merits are far better than the demerits, in consideration of long term achievements.
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IELTS essay studying in abroad for parts of the education is going increasingly high. Do the advantages out weigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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