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Study requires clam, relax and space others think that employment is beneficial with study. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Study requires clam, relax and space others think that employment is beneficial with study. doDRp
The importance of employment with study which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial which others reject this notion. The substantial influence of clam, relax and space has sparked controversy over the potential impact of this trend in the recent years. In my opinion, former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will elaborate both positive and negative effects of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion in the upcoming paragraphs. There are myriad of reasons which will explain this argument, but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that it is very fruitful for students, because students get practical knowledge about the society when they do job at the workplace. As a ramification, it helps to enhance the skills of the students. Moreover, students learn the value of money, they will think twice before purchasing the anything. Apart from this, it can be seen that students spend large chunk of money on unnecessary products, they do not purchase of they busy in their works. Hence, it is ostensible from the above why many people say that students should do job with their study. Needless to say, these merit of job with study stand the students in a good stead. However, there are plethora of pitfalls that negate this argument, but the crucial one is that students will not get proper time for their study. Finally, they run in the race of earning the money. Thus, it is detrimental for students if they do job with their study. After hashing out the aforementioned deliberation, as one can reach a conclusion that the merits of employment with study are instrumental indeed. Never the less, the potential drawbacks should not be overlooked.
The importance of employment with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claiming that it is beneficial which others reject this notion. The substantial influence of clam, relax and space has sparked controversy over the potential impact of this trend in the recent years. In my opinion, former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will elaborate both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this trend and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion in the upcoming paragraphs.

There are myriad of reasons which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most preponderant one stems from the fact that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fruitful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical knowledge about the society when they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at the workplace. As a ramification, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enhance the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn the value of money, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing the anything. Apart from this, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend large chunk of money on unnecessary products, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of they busy in their works.
Hence
, it is ostensible from the above why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Needless to say, these merit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
stand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead.

However
, there are plethora of pitfalls that negate this argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the crucial one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Finally
, they run in the race of earning the money.
Thus
, it is detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
if they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with their study.

After hashing out the aforementioned deliberation, as one can reach a conclusion that the merits of employment with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are instrumental
indeed
.
This word is normally spelled as one.
Never the less
, the potential drawbacks should not
be overlooked
.
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IELTS essay Study requires clam, relax and space others think that employment is beneficial with study.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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