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Study Art benefit and drawback

Study Art benefit and drawback drPqK
As. . benefits. Firstly is about studying. When you are drawing you have to observe and replicate characteristics such as color and shape. This process is known as conceptual visualization, it’s how your brain practice memory skills. Therefore, this help a lot to your study such as language, mathematics, and science. Secondly, Art allow you to be alone and unleash your real identity. This make you feel free and relaxed. Moreover, it’s help you to relieve stress. You can make it be your hobby or do it when you have free time. Thirdly, about your mental and physical health. Every time you start to draw something your mind always concentrate at a picture and when you focus on something for a long time this is how you to improve your ability of meditation. This ability can develop into Emotional Quotient that is make you control your emotion better and know how to solve problems intelligently. Fourthly, highly levels of economic growth. The arts and culture industry of United States cut the money to art programs at school help to balance a budget. All. . Indeed …. too. First and foremost is requirement. Art ability is rarely used in your work or your grade at school except you are an artist. We give value to technology, maths, physics and languages and think they important more than art. Secondly, if you want to study art you have to buy a lot of art supplies such as brushes, paints, canvases etc. and maybe in some schools you have to pay more money to study in art program. Those mean you have to spend more your money. Thirdly, Inequality of students in each position. Wealthy students have a better chance of getting an education than poor students. Causing disparities in some cases. Although. . can Nowadays we give value to good grades, good jobs, a life with money, and a life with power. We think art subject is unimportant and can’t make your life to be better. Besides, we focus on better life and try to hard work to earn a living. Your life has been through stressful studies and work overload. Unfortunately, you gradually lost your identity and forget how beautiful the world is. I hope one day people will give precedence to art more than today. Art is more than subject, it’s how to see the world through your eyes and see how to love yourself as the world loves you.
As.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
benefits
.
Firstly
is about studying. When you are drawing you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
observe and replicate characteristics such as color and shape. This process
is known
as conceptual visualization, it’s how your brain practice memory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
such as language, mathematics, and science.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
you to be alone and unleash your real identity. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you feel free and relaxed.
Moreover
, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. You can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it be your hobby or do it when you have free time.
Thirdly
, about your mental and physical health. Every time you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to draw something your mind always concentrate at a picture and when you focus on something for a long time this is how you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your ability of meditation. This ability can develop into Emotional Quotient
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you control your emotion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and know how to solve problems
intelligently
.
Fourthly
,
highly
levels of economic growth. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and culture industry
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the United States".
of United States
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
programs at school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to balance a budget. All.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Indeed
….
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
too
.
First
and foremost is requirement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
ability is rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in your work or your grade at school except you are an artist. We give value to technology,
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, physics and languages and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Secondly
, if you want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
supplies such as brushes, paints, canvases etc. and maybe in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
program. Those mean you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Thirdly
, Inequality of students in each position. Wealthy students have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance of getting an education than poor students. Causing disparities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. Although.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
can


Nowadays we give value to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with power. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
subject is unimportant and can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
Besides
, we focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to earn a living. Your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has been through stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and work overload. Unfortunately, you
gradually
lost your identity and forget how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
the world is. I hope
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "one-day"
one day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will give precedence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is more than subject, it’s how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world through your eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
yourself as the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
you.
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IELTS essay Study Art benefit and drawback

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
409 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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