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Studies suggest that the rise in the consumption of junk foods is the major cause of obesity. Some people argue that this problem can be tackled to a great extent by increasing the prices of these food items. Do you agree or disagree. v.4

Studies suggest that the rise in the consumption of junk foods is the major cause of obesity. Some people argue that this problem can be tackled to a great extent by increasing the prices of these food items. v. 4
In the contemporary era, there is an intense argument over the issue that people are becoming more unfit as they consume high amount of unhealthy food. A majority of society favours it, in contrast the rest averse it. This essay completely disagrees to the solution of making these kind of foods expensive. This essay will also discuss the supporting paragraphs. I totally oppose to this idea for various reasons. First and foremost, hiking prices of junk foods cannot solve the obesity problem as people nowadays can afford to buy foods. For example, junk foods are eaten more by rich people because they feel lazy to cook for themselves, so they simply order food online sitting at home. But, this is the major cause why people are becoming more obese. Secondly, rich people have more money with them. Moreover, it will not affect them if the prices of these food items are high. Furthermore, they will still buy it and enjoy eating it. However, this major issue can be solved by preparing a schedule for oneself. For instance, making a chart which includes their daily activities. On one hand, the chart should include about their proper balanced diet also with some exercises. On the other hand, one must follow their chart in order to stay healthy and fit. Therefore, by regularly following their schedule one can be punctual with their activities. To conclude, obesity is a major problem throughout the world. Nevertheless, this issue can be solved by doing regular exercises and maintaining the balanced diet. This will help the world to always stay fit.
In the contemporary era, there is an intense argument over the issue that
people
are becoming more unfit as they consume high amount of unhealthy
food
. A majority of society
favours
it,
in contrast
the rest averse it. This essay completely disagrees to the solution of making
these kind
of
foods
expensive. This essay will
also
discuss the supporting paragraphs.

I
totally
oppose to this
idea
for various reasons.
First
and foremost, hiking prices of junk
foods
cannot solve the obesity problem as
people
nowadays can afford to
buy
foods
.
For example
, junk
foods
are eaten
more by rich
people
because
they feel lazy to cook for themselves,
so
they
simply
order
food
online sitting at home.
But
, this is the major cause why
people
are becoming more obese.
Secondly
, rich
people
have more money with them.
Moreover
, it will not affect them if the prices of these
food
items are high.
Furthermore
, they will
still
buy
it and enjoy eating it.

However
, this major issue can
be solved
by preparing a schedule for oneself.
For instance
, making a chart which includes their daily activities. On one hand, the chart should include about their proper balanced diet
also
with
some
exercises.
On the other hand
, one
must
follow their chart in order to stay healthy and fit.
Therefore
, by
regularly
following their schedule one can be punctual with their activities.

To conclude
, obesity is a major problem throughout the world.
Nevertheless
, this issue can
be solved
by doing regular exercises and maintaining the balanced diet. This will
help
the world to always stay fit.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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IELTS essay Studies suggest that the rise in the consumption of junk foods is the major cause of obesity. Some people argue that this problem can be tackled to a great extent by increasing the prices of these food items. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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