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Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days, a lot of teenagers started to prefer socialising online than meeting others in person, which is considered a widespread phenomenon that a lot of elders don't necesserly prefer, but teenagers enjoy it themselves and have some reasons for it. First of all, texting online and emailing are way faster and easier than meeting in person, there is no need for getting ready, spending effort and time in transporting by the car or walking and it costs nothing more than a simple click on the keyboard or a touch on the screen. Also, teenagers who are more introverted are finding social-networking way easier and simpler than meeting in person, for example, there's no need to face the lack of communication skills in talking to others, while it's easy to control who you talk to and when you communicate with them online. Therefore, the world of internet and social media companies are making sure to attract people to join their platforms by giving them the most effeciant updates from emojies to the ability in sending different media forms (videos, pictures, voice messages. . . etc) simply, which is very attractive for young people to use and depend on in their social interactions. Educating teenagers about how important and joyable is meeting others and seeing their expressions and listening to their voices in person and monitoring the time spent on screens and allow their curiosity to explore the outside and meet others can encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person. At the end, using social media networks for socialising has its advantiges and qualities, but there will never be an alternative for the real joy and pleasure of meeting people face to face in real life.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to prefer
Possible spelling mistake. ‘socialising’ is British English.
socialising
online than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
others in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, which
is considered
a widespread phenomenon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
elders don't
Possible spelling mistake found.
necesserly
prefer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
enjoy it themselves and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for it.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, texting online and emailing are way faster and easier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, there is no need for getting ready, spending effort and time in transporting by the car or
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
walking and
it costs nothing more than a simple click on the keyboard or a touch on the screen.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who are more introverted are finding social-networking way easier and simpler than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
,
for example
, there's no need to face the lack of communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in talking to others, while it's easy to control who you talk to and when you communicate with them online.

Therefore
, the world of internet and social media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are making sure to attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their platforms by giving them the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
effeciant
updates from
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “emojis”, the plural form of the noun ‘emoji’?
emojies
to the ability in sending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
media forms (videos, pictures, voice messages.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
etc
)
simply
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and depend on in their social interactions.

Educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
joyable
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
others and seeing their expressions and listening to their voices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and monitoring the time spent on screens and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their curiosity to explore the outside and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to spend more time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
one another in person.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, using social media networks for
Possible spelling mistake. ‘socialising’ is British English.
socialising
has its
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantiges
and qualities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will never be an alternative for the real joy and pleasure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face to face in real life.
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IELTS essay Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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