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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages more disadvantages?

Individuals prefer to work on additional hours and they do not spend time on the other things like workout, relaxation and a quality time with family. This essay agrees that cons surpass the pros and all the points will be substantiated in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, humans are working extra hours a lot nowadays. Due to overtime, they cannot spend time on workout. Although they get tired as work late hours they do not have time for workout, exercise is one of the vital things in their life. For example, many persons start their work early in the morning so they have plenty time for other activities. However, they choose to work overtime mostly and after ten to twelve hours they get physically and mentally tired. Secondly, public also like to work on weekends while it is their relaxation time. Basically, they go to work during their refreshment time and it is not good for mentally and physically. To illustrate, during weekdays people already gone through a lot of stress and tension. Now if they go for a job, they get mentally tired and start feeling irritation and angry which is bad for health and they might start fighting with someone. Besides, mankind cannot gives a quality time to his/her family. As per psychology, sometimes family time works as a stress buster. People forget everything when they play with their kids and spend time with their parents and partner. For example, many prefer to go outside with family on beaches, garden and shopping centre so they can give a good time to family. Some believe that they can earn more money due to additional hours but money cannot buy happiness all the time. Money cannot relieve your stress. For instance, 65. 23% of people just earn money till 65 years age and then they cannot go outside with their family due to less physical ability according to the survey of The US in 2019. To conclude, benefits overweigh drawback of this view as public cannot invest their on the other important things such as exercise, refreshment and family time.
Individuals prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on additional
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hours and
they do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the other things like workout, relaxation and a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that cons surpass the pros and all the points will
be substantiated
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, humans are working extra
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hours
a lot nowadays. Due to overtime, they cannot spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on workout. Although they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired as
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work
late
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hours
they do not have
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time
for workout, exercise is one of the vital things in their life.
For example
,
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many
persons
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start
their
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work
early in the morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
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time
for other activities.
However
, they choose to
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work
overtime
mostly
and after ten to twelve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
physically
and mentally tired.
Secondly
, public
also
like to
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work
on weekends while it is their relaxation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Basically
, they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during their refreshment
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for mentally and
physically
. To illustrate, during weekdays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
already gone through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
if they go for a job, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mentally tired and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
feeling irritation and angry which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they might
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start
fighting with someone.

Besides
, mankind cannot
The modal verb ‘cannot’ requires the verb’s base form.
gives
a quality
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time
to his/her
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family
. As per psychology,
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sometimes
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family
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time
works as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
forget everything when they play with their kids and spend
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time
with their parents and partner.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
prefer to go outside with
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family
on beaches, garden and shopping centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
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family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that they can earn more
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money
due to additional
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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money
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
cannot relieve your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, 65. 23% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
earn
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money
till 65 years
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
then they cannot go outside with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
due to less physical ability according to the survey of The US in 2019.

To conclude
, benefits
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
drawback of this view as public cannot invest their on the other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things such as exercise, refreshment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages more disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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