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Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? GkXj
It is irrefutable that nowadays, because of technology, socialising online through which we can make companion and connect with other people, has gained more popularity. However, studies illustrate that teenagers nowadays are more keen on socialising online as opposed to meet one another in real life. I believe that teenagers should spend more time connecting with people via real conversation, and I will outline my reasons in the following essay. To begin with, there are many reasons why many teenagers have a tendency to use social as a priority. First of all, due to the development of the technology, different social platforms were created with the main target is to bring people together. Via these website, teenagers consider the convenient of saving time as they can communicate with others whenever they want instead of meeting in person which is frequently time consumption. Take facebook as an example. Many people in age range of 13 to 19 use this method to make friends as well as send messages and talk to their friends. Additionally, lack of communicating skills in teenagers make them nervous when meeting someone in real life, therefore socialising online became a solution for this problem. However, I am of the opinion that it is necessary for teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person rather than using social networks. Firstly, teenagers themselves should participate in activities which encourage them to communicate. For instance, school clubs will be an efficient measure that increase their practical social skills. Secondly, time management that parents set out for their children will decrease the time they spend online and enable teenagers to spend more time improving their relationships. In conclusion, public should raise alarm so as to evoke people's awareness of this phenomenon and I truly believe that it is essential to encourage teenagers to meet one another in person.
It is irrefutable that nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology,
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
through which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
companion and connect with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, has gained more popularity.
However
, studies illustrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
nowadays are more keen on
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
as opposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
one another in real life. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
connecting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
via real conversation, and I will outline my reasons in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
as a priority.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, due to the development of the technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platforms
were created
with the main target is to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. Via
Did you mean "this website" or "these websites"?
these website
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
consider
The phrase 'the convenient of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the convenient of
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as they can communicate with others whenever they want
instead
of meeting in person which is
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
consumption. Take
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
as an example.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in age range of 13 to 19
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages and talk to their friends.
Additionally
, lack of communicating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them nervous when meeting someone in real life,
therefore
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
became a solution for this problem.

However
, I am of the opinion that it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
meeting one another in person
rather
than using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
themselves should participate in activities which encourage them to communicate.
For instance
, school clubs will be an efficient measure that increase their practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management that parents set out for their children will decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
improving their relationships.

In conclusion
, public should raise alarm
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
evoke
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's awareness of this phenomenon and I
truly
believe that it is essential to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
one another in person.
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IELTS essay Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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