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Studies show that many criminals do not receive enough education. For this reason, people believe that the best ways to reduce crime is to educate them so they can find a job after being released. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often believed that the most appropriate step to reduce the crime rate is to provide education for offenders because this will help them to find employment. Research has also revealed that a low level of education is a reason to commit an offence by a criminal. I do not agree with the statement that because this approach is expensive and chances of reoffending remains in society. This essay will explain the reasons for my disagreement using the examples of two united nations- the United Kingdom and the United States of America. To begin with, the main reason behind not providing education for criminals is that cost of this step is too high. This will increase the burden on the government's shoulders. Furthermore, the government will start neglecting the other sectors of society such as healthcare, school- education, and public transport. For instance, the United Kingdom Crime Association consulted with the government of their nation to allocate funds for education in prisons. As a result, other public sectors suffered and witnessed 35% of decrement in their funding. The second reason is that education does not guarantee that offenders will not commit a crime again after imprisonment. Take West Virginia as an example, a northwest state in the United States of America, where 67% of educated-criminals committed the crimes again after release from prisons. This was mainly because hardcore criminals have no impact on education and these expert criminals persuade young offenders to re-offend. Therefore, it is futile to educate criminals. In conclusion, it is true educating offenders in prisons is not an effective way to curtail crime because it requires a great deal of money and the most of the criminals resort to crime again after being released from prisons.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that the most appropriate step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
In informal texts, ‘to’ is not necessary. Do you mean “help them find”?
help them to find
employment. Research has
also
revealed that a low level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to commit an
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offence’ is British English.
offence
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this approach is expensive and chances of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffending
remains in society. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for my disagreement using the examples of two
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
united nations
- the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
States of America.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind not providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is that cost of this step is too high. This will increase the burden on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's shoulders.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
neglecting the other sectors of society such as healthcare, school-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and public transport.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
Association consulted with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of their nation to allocate funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
.
As a result
, other public sectors suffered and witnessed 35% of decrement in their funding.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
does not guarantee that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
will not commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again after imprisonment. Take West Virginia as an example, a northwest state in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
States of America, where 67% of educated-criminals committed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again after release from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
. This was
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
hardcore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
have no impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and these expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
persuade young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
to re-offend.
Therefore
, it is futile to educate criminals.

In conclusion
, it is true educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
is not an effective way to curtail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires a great deal of money and the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
resort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again after
being released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
.

IELTS essay Studies show that many criminals do not receive enough education. For this reason, people believe that the best ways to reduce crime is to educate them so they can find a job after being released.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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