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Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison 7kl6
Nowadays, crime rates within our societies are increasing rapidly. Some studies have shown that crime rates are lower among educated people and support the idea of educating criminals in prison so as to reduce the number of crime rates. This essay would discuss both sides and I would state my opinion in the conclusion. First of all, most educated people are employed do not have time to be involved in crimes. When a person is educated he or she would know about the various consequences when one breaks the law or commits a crime. Therefore, they are always careful not to get involved in anything illegal. On the other hand, providing criminals with education while they are still serving jail term will not exempt them to commit a crime again after being released from jail. Most prisoners commit crimes not knowing how bad it is. Even if they are provided with education in jail, most of them do not get jobs afterwards so they end up doing illegal stuff despite the education provided to them. Moreover, some can choose to have a good way of living and not involve in criminal activities. In conclusion, I believe that education lowers crime rates and educating prisoners in prison is the best way to reduce crime rates because it will teach them a lot of morals.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
within our societies are increasing
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
studies have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are lower among educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of educating criminals in prison
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. This essay would discuss both sides and I would state my opinion in the conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, most educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are employed
do not have time to
be involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. When a person
is educated
he or she would know about the various consequences when one breaks the law or commits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Therefore
, they are always careful not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in anything illegal.

On the other hand
, providing criminals with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
while they are
still
serving jail term will not exempt them to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
again after
being released
from jail. Most prisoners commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
not knowing how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
it is. Even if they
are provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in jail, most of them do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs afterwards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up doing illegal stuff despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provided to them.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
can choose to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of living and not involve in criminal activities.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lowers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
and educating prisoners in prison is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will teach them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
morals.
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IELTS essay Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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