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Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. what problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?

Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. what problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation? xkd9
Many recent surveys have reported that there is a huge capital difference which is increasing at alarming rate among wealthy and poor people in developing nations. This essay elaborates the major problems of revenue gap and the possible solutions to overcome crime rates. First and Foremost, one of the problems is treated as Inflation mainly in education sector. Moreover, unwealthy distribution of income is in education which is not accessible for poorer humans compared to rich persons such as top universities and B schools. In fact, it affects in getting high paid jobs which is not in reach for poor people. Next, other major concern is considered as crime rates which is climbing high. Here, unwealthy guys suffer from their basic accommodations like food and shelter as their source of income is comparatively low to prosperous people and they commit more illegal crimes. For example, South Africa has a victim for revenue difference among rich and poor individuals and low wages people cannot give good education to their kids in well-established universities which ultimately effects in securing lucrative jobs. As a consequence to above problems, Firstly every nation should provide handsome capital to needy mankind. Moreover, they should introduce new capital schemes and scholarships to unwealthy persons in education sector which can help them to get quality education and get well-paid jobs and live comfortably like rich persons. Secondly, all developing countries should provide ample amount of employment opportunities to low wages people and give basic facilities for common people which results drastic reduction in crime rates. For Instance, India is a perfect example who gives a lot of scholarships and income to ordinary public in education sector. In conclusion, the gap between the rich and the needy people has widening in all developing nations which tends to increase in crime rates. Hence, if government tackles necessary actions against these concerns as a result its empowerment the common public and reduces the illegal activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
recent surveys have reported that there is a huge capital difference which is increasing at alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
among wealthy and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in developing nations. This essay elaborates the major problems of revenue gap and the possible solutions to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.

First
and Foremost, one of the problems
is treated
as Inflation
mainly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwealthy
distribution of income is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which is not accessible for poorer humans compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
persons such as top universities and B schools. In fact, it affects in getting high paid jobs which is not in reach for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Next
, other major concern
is considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
which is climbing high. Here,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwealthy
guys suffer from their basic accommodations like food and shelter as their source of income is
comparatively
low to prosperous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they commit more illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For example
, South Africa has a victim for revenue difference among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and poor individuals and low wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to their kids in well-established universities which
ultimately
effects in securing lucrative jobs.

As a
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
above problems,
Firstly
every nation should provide handsome capital to needy mankind.
Moreover
, they should introduce new capital schemes and scholarships to
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwealthy
persons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-paid jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortably
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
persons.
Secondly
, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
should provide ample amount of employment opportunities to low wages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and give basic facilities for common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which results drastic reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
For Instance
, India is a perfect example who gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
scholarships and income to ordinary public in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector.

In conclusion
, the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
widening in all developing nations which tends to increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
Hence
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
tackles necessary actions against these concerns
as a result
its empowerment the common public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the illegal activities.
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IELTS essay Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap between the rich and poor is ever increasing. what problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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