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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. D9EW
It is undeniable that a number of people often tends to indulge in tasting junk foods due to which severe health diseases are arising in several communities. It is argued that this issue can be tackle by increasing tax on these food which will promotes people to be healthy despite demerits the people likely to face in terms of freedom. These days, a section of societies are facing challenges from health issues; consequently, by increasing fares on junk foods, this issue can be resolved to an extent. This is to say, some advertisements are often pestering children to purchase unhealthy dietary foods; as a consequence, young people can develop severe health diseases such as diabetes and obesity. This can be accomplished by these governing bodies to implement laws and regulations along with increased fares on high calories containing food. In other words, a number of people will face financial burden on them and they could switch off to low-end pricing including foods. For instance, a survey conducted by 'the Hindu' newspaper suggested that cities in the Vietnam have opt for sustainable products, particularly eggs and chicken due to pressure from their government. However, some people would not like to overlook the disadvantages it will have. It is thought of school that people can loose freedom to eat few healthier junk foods. Quality foods, for instance, sandwiches and salads would be completely disappeared in local markets. It is generally believed that in health training programs or gyms, health advisors probably suggests people to have some high calorific value products in order to make muscular body. On the contrary, modern genetically modified crops and foods are far better option to be held accountable to prefer as a intake diets as compared with healthy junk foods. Also, these foods could be cheaper to buy in cutting-edge world owing to ease of manufacturing process. In conclusion, although the factor of freedom might be discarded from majority of population, while the alternative methods which have erected is beneficial to societies. Strikingly, people financial stability and individual awareness to eat other balanced and healthy food may be influenced just by levy huge tax on junk food.
It is undeniable that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tends to indulge in tasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
due to which severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
diseases are arising in several communities. It
is argued
that this issue can be tackle by increasing tax on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which will promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be healthy despite demerits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
likely to face in terms of freedom.

These days, a section of societies
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
facing challenges from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues;
consequently
, by increasing fares on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, this issue can
be resolved
to an extent. This is to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertisements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pestering children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
unhealthy dietary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
; as a consequence, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can develop severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
diseases such as diabetes and obesity. This can
be accomplished
by these governing bodies to implement laws and regulations along with increased fares on high calories containing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In other words
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will face financial burden on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they could switch off to low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
pricing including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
For instance
, a survey conducted by 'the Hindu' newspaper suggested that cities in the Vietnam have
Use past participle here: "opted".
opt
for sustainable products,
particularly
eggs and chicken due to pressure from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not like to overlook the disadvantages it will have. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of school that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
freedom to eat few healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
for instance
, sandwiches and salads would be completely disappeared in local markets. It is
generally
believed that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
training programs or gyms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
advisors
probably
suggests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high calorific value products in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
muscular body.

On the contrary
, modern
genetically
modified crops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are far better option to
be held
accountable to prefer as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
intake diets as compared with healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
could be cheaper to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in cutting-edge world owing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of manufacturing process.

In conclusion
, although the factor of freedom might
be discarded
from
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
population, while the alternative methods which have erected is beneficial to societies.
Strikingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
financial stability and individual awareness to eat other balanced and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may
be influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by levy huge tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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