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Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages? P9pd
Using cars has been becoming increasingly common in recent years. Although I think that it maintains some obvious harmful consequences, I strongly believe that the advantages of the car can outweigh its advantages. On the one hand, owning cars has a significant influence on the environment. The first reason is that the growth in travelling by car can lead to a rise in pollution, traffic jams, and accidents. More cars are likely to result in rocketing rate of pollution. Secondly, our dependence on cars can lead to decrease in practices, such as walking and cycling. People may have a higher chance of carrying more potential health risks like obesity and heart attack. On the other hand, there are many reasons why people prefer to own cars. Firstly, it provides people with the freedom of movement. The ease of transportation which a car brings is significant/prominent than any other form of vehicles. For example, you can go from a destination to another destination and no time is wasted waiting for the bus or train. Therefore, time and distance are not barriers anymore. Secondly, personal cars can give comfort while travelling compared to the public transports which are so crowded and disgusting. For instance, you can read books, listen to your favourite songs or even play with kids while you are in your own car but all seems to be impossible on a public transport. Finally, families can go together. This becomes especially helpful when there are elderly, the disabled or even sick members in the families. In conclusion, having a car can lead to a few obvious problems, but I believe that owning a car is the best choice and the benefits that it brings about can outshine its drawbacks.
Using
cars
has been becoming
increasingly
common in recent years. Although I

think
that it maintains
some
obvious harmful consequences, I
strongly
believe that

the advantages of the
car
can outweigh its advantages.

On the one hand, owning
cars
has a significant influence on the environment. The

first
reason is that the growth in travelling by
car
can lead to a rise in pollution,

traffic jams, and accidents. More
cars
are likely to result in rocketing rate of

pollution.
Secondly
, our dependence on
cars
can lead to decrease in practices,

such as walking and cycling.
People
may have a higher chance of carrying more

potential health
risks
like obesity and heart attack.

On the other hand
, there are
many
reasons why
people
prefer to
own
cars
.
Firstly
,

it provides
people
with the freedom of movement. The
ease
of transportation

which a
car
brings is significant/
prominent
than any other form of vehicles. For

example, you can go from a destination to another destination and no time
is wasted
waiting for the bus or train.
Therefore
, time and distance are not barriers

anymore.
Secondly
, personal
cars
can give comfort while travelling compared to

the public transports which are
so
crowded and disgusting.
For instance
, you can

read books, listen to your
favourite
songs or even play with kids while you are in

your
own
car
but
all seems to be impossible on
a public transport
.
Finally
,

families can go together. This becomes
especially
helpful when there are elderly,

the disabled or even sick members in the families.

In conclusion
, having a
car
can lead to a few obvious problems,
but
I believe that

owning a
car
is the best choice and the benefits that it brings about can outshine its

drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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