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students should take one year off before entering university. do you agree or disagree?

students should take one year off before entering university. rYkxn
Without a shadow of a doubt, university education is an essential factor for students' success. It is believed by some people that students should pursue their education without any interruption while some others may hold different outlooks. Although it is hard to reach a consensus on this issue, I am totally convinced that it is better for students to take a breath after high school education. To support my stance in the course of this essay, I will approach the topic from the following perspectives: The first point in the discussion is the amount of expenses that university education imposes on students. That is to say, students at university go under financial burden because of tuition fees and other extra expenditures. To clearly state, students at university come from various family background and most families could not support their offspring’s expenses. Even though, university offers some scholarships for students, it does not cover the whole expenses. The more money students earn, the more relieved they will be. Going into depth, in todays’ work, parents both have to work from dawn to dusk to meet their families’ expectations. Should children not help their parents, they will bear pressure. It seems that one year off, students could fulfill their dreams and attend the university. Another aspect to focus on is the importance of being aware of their career goals by working. In other words, students could work as apprentices in assorted fields to make wise decisions about their future jobs. To delineate, when a student starts to work, he faces new challenges of this job and could evaluate his ability to see whether he has enough impetus to follow this job or not. To shed more light on this issue, according to the result of a survey which was conducted on the physists ‘students, it was illustrated that most of them are attracted to prestigious and career status of their major and they could not tolerate the difficulties of being in a hospital environment. Not only do they feel disparity between their dreams job and reality but also they get depress. Therefore, students could take an advantage of one year off and take concrete step. In conclusion, I do believe that having a year off benefits for students. To recapitulate reasons, not only could they save money for their education but also they can make a conscious decision for their future career.
Without a shadow of a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is an essential factor for students' success. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
without any interruption while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others may hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
outlooks. Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to reach a consensus on this issue, I am
totally
convinced that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take a breath after high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. To support my stance in the course of this essay, I will approach the topic from the following perspectives:

The
first
point in the discussion is the amount of expenses that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
imposes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
That is
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
go under financial burden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of tuition fees and other extra expenditures. To
clearly
state,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from various family background and most families could not support their offspring’s expenses.
Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholarships for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, it does not cover the whole expenses. The more money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
earn, the more relieved they will be. Going into depth, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, parents both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from dawn to dusk to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their families’ expectations. Should children not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents, they will bear pressure. It seems that one year off,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could fulfill their dreams and attend the university.

Another aspect to focus on is the importance of being aware of their career goals by working.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as apprentices in assorted fields to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
wise decisions about their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. To delineate, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, he faces new challenges of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and could evaluate his ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whether he has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
impetus to follow this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not. To shed more light on this issue, according to the result of a survey which
was conducted
on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
physists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘students
, it
was illustrated
that most of them
are attracted
to prestigious and career status of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
major and
they could not tolerate the difficulties of being in a hospital environment. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they feel disparity between their dreams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and reality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depress.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could take an advantage of one year off and take concrete step.

In conclusion
, I do believe that having a year off benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. To recapitulate reasons, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could they save money for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conscious decision for their future career.
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As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay students should take one year off before entering university.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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