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College days are valuable days in students' life. Do you agree or disagree with the statement

College days are valuable days in students' life. VQ0GD
The college days are most precious days in one's life as they enlighten and orients the students, whom they want to be. The accurate time where the students can explore the different aspects in society. I agree with the statement that college days are important days in one's life. I feel this way for several reasons. Firstly, This the first time where the students get freedom to do any work after high school. The college life helps the students to explore many fields of study along with the co curricular activities, as the schedule is idle to handle. In addition to it one can choose their delighted subjects and get the degree for the course which they had choosen. The universities provide the students various options to study from where they want to learn and from where they want to be learn from lecturer. For instance my neighbor recently graduated from local university. He feels so easy now, as he grew up in college hostels which made him get his desired job along with his interesting degree. Secondly, probably these days feel like less anxiety, as there is no burden from financial or any hurdles because at the time one become financial independent from basic needs as they do part time job. More over These days help the students help the students not to rely on the parents on regular basis. Hence it spares the time to study a hard and enjoy at the weekends and to think alone what they want to be. In universities as a student leave away from residence with the roomates helps them to understand different kind of people and their habit than living with the parents in earlier days. Lastly, The years at the college are the one that are memorized later in a person's life. The energetic attitude of students encourage other young students to do more in the college days. At the time the one become familiar to the sports and many activities, which might not be possible after these days as they spent their time in jobs and family.
The college days are most precious days in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as they enlighten and orients the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, whom they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be. The accurate
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can explore the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects in society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that college days are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
days in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I feel this way for several reasons.

Firstly
, This the
first
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
freedom to do any work after high school. The college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields of study along with the co curricular activities, as the schedule is idle to handle.
In addition
to it one can choose their delighted subjects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the degree for the course which they had
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
. The universities provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
various options to study from where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to learn and from where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
from lecturer.
For instance
my neighbor recently graduated from local university. He feels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, as he grew up in college hostels which made him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
his desired job along with his interesting degree.

Secondly
,
probably
these days feel like less anxiety, as there is no burden from financial or any hurdles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
one become financial
The usual collocation for "independent" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independent of"?
independent from
basic needs as they do part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
job. More over These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not to rely on the parents on regular basis.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it spares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and enjoy at the weekends and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
alone what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be. In universities as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
away from residence with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
roomates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and their habit than living with the parents in earlier days.

Lastly
, The years at the college are the one that
are memorized
later in a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The energetic attitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
encourage other young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do more in the college days. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the one become familiar to the sports and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities, which might not be possible after these days as they spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in jobs and family.
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IELTS essay College days are valuable days in students' life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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