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Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, agree or disagree.

Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, agree or disagree. LOgK
It is often said that university students are capable of making money and taking care of themselves because it is assumed that they are old enough to deal with their own financial problems, especially paying full cost of their university studies. Personally, I strongly disagree with this statement due to the following reasons. First and foremost, paying tertiary expenses put great strains on learners, especially the poor ones. For instance, many students all over the nation sit for the national examination to seize their chances to study on their dream university campus, yet they have to face up with great financial problems, increasing tuition fees particularly. According to some recent statistics of the Ministry of Education, the rate of students dropping out from university is alarmingly increasing, and the reason for this trend is mainly because of the irrelevantly high tuition fees. Hence, university managers ought to reconsider and make adjustments to a more reasonable level in order to create great motivation for students who are not well-off but intelligent and industrious to continue their studies. Last but not least, interrupting with the learning efficiency is a concerning drawback of paying the full cost of learners’ tertiary expenses. On account of working hard to earn enough money to pay the tuition fees, scholars are distracted from schoolwork, therefore, the academic results can’t be as good as they expected. To illustrate, my elder sister, who graduated from The Academy of Journalism and Communication finds it extremely hard to be balanced between studying at school, completing assignments and working part-time jobs to pay three times higher tuition fees than those in high school. Thus, universities should take some effective measures to solve this issue. To sum up, not only does minimizing tertiary expenses motivate students to pursue their studies but it also saves the human resource as well. Moreover, students’ enjoyment in learning without worrying about the studies costs makes the universities ideal places for scholars to follow their dreams.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are capable of making money and taking care of themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is assumed
that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to deal with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial problems,
especially
paying full cost of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Personally
, I
strongly
disagree with this statement due to the following reasons.

First
and foremost, paying tertiary expenses put great strains on learners,
especially
the poor ones.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
all over the nation sit for the national examination to seize their chances to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on their dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
campus,
yet
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face up with great financial problems, increasing tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
particularly
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recent statistics of the Ministry of Education, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
dropping out from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
alarmingly
increasing, and the reason for this trend is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
irrelevantly
high tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
managers ought to reconsider and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
adjustments to a more reasonable level in order to create great motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not well-off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
intelligent and industrious to continue their studies.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, interrupting with the learning efficiency is a concerning drawback of paying the full cost of learners’ tertiary expenses. On account of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to pay the tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, scholars
are distracted
from schoolwork,
therefore
, the academic results can’t be as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. To illustrate, my elder sister, who graduated from The Academy of Journalism and Communication finds it
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
be balanced
between studying at school, completing assignments and working part-time jobs to pay three times higher tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
than those in high school.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measures to solve this issue.

To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "goes minimizing".
does minimizing
tertiary expenses motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
saves the human resource
as well
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
enjoyment in learning without worrying about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
costs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
ideal places for scholars to follow their dreams.
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IELTS essay Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, agree or disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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