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Students should not only study well but also get some ther neccessary skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students should not only study well but also get some ther neccessary skills. Grj3w
People have various views about whether pupils ought to study hard or also need some essential skills. From my point of view, while I suppose teenager should put all their mind to study excellently, I maintain students need to spend leisure time broadening their horizon except for learning academic subjects. On the one hand, it agreed that allocating time to learn brilliantly at schools will be the best for children. To begin with, therere is no denying that students are becoming to be more occupied with arduous tasks at schools. Therefore, spending time to gain soft things can not help nothing but put the pressure on them. According to the recent research, analysts suggest that there is a dramatic increase in puplis at approximately 8-17 years old being stressful and tense due to cramping a wide range of information. In addition, without doubt, it seems that for children the most important works is merely having a well-educated for further education as well as getting job promotion in the future. On the other hand, I still hold my opinion that life’s behaviors has various merits to children. First and foremost, it helps people to own more good relationships and create a friendly atmosphere at offices and schools. For example, thanks to the leadership and teamwork talents when working in a team, there would be less arguement and even work effectively. Furthermore, ganing important skills will be a good stage for people especially teenager to develop career path. In the light of the fact that almost every famous and properous cooperation tend to recruit well- eaducated employers. However, if someone has an international certificate, a good stage of education, she or he can be turned down when lacking some soft talents related to daily society. In conclusion, even though learning well is extremely vital for students at all ages, numerous benefits of social ability appears to outweigh it when it comes to the long run. As a result, students should to be encouraged to gain a basic knowledge about essential talents in modern life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have various views about whether pupils ought to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
or
also
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. From my point of view, while I suppose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
should put all their mind to study
excellently
, I maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to spend leisure time broadening their horizon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
learning academic subjects.

On the one hand, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that allocating time to learn
brilliantly
at schools will be the best for children. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found
therere
is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are becoming to be more occupied with arduous tasks at schools.
Therefore
, spending time to gain soft things can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
put the pressure on them. According to the recent research, analysts suggest that there is a dramatic increase in
Possible spelling mistake found.
puplis
at approximately 8-17 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
being stressful and tense due to cramping a wide range of information.
In addition
, without doubt, it seems that for children the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
works is
merely
having a well-educated for
further
education
as well
as getting job promotion in the future.

On the other hand
, I
still
hold my opinion that life’s behaviors has various merits to children.
First
and foremost, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships and create a friendly atmosphere at offices and schools.
For example
, thanks to the leadership and teamwork talents when working in a team, there would be less
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
and even work
effectively
.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ganing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stage for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
to develop career path. In the light of the fact that almost every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
properous
cooperation tend to recruit well-
Possible spelling mistake found.
eaducated
employers.
However
, if someone has an international certificate, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stage of education, she or he can
be turned
down when lacking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
soft talents related to daily society.

In conclusion
,
even though
learning well is
extremely
vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at all ages, numerous benefits of social ability appears to outweigh it when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the long run.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should to
be encouraged
to gain a basic knowledge about essential talents in modern
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Students should not only study well but also get some ther neccessary skills.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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