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Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a myth that, students who encouraged only perform good rather then castigate. In my opinion, it is a contradicting to judge their performance with rewards and punishments. Basically, novice, who receive prize eventually perform good because with that gifts they get a confident to perform better in their up coming examinations and try gain prizes again. For example scholar develop a personality that who ever encourage them with valuable things for their accomplishment of getting high grade. they get a boost and want to repeat same performance again. On the other hand, through punishment student develop a persona that helps him making a good grade in their futher studies and also help them to evaluate themselfes with other and making better of themselves. For examples, it have been conformed that through punishment people can change their attitude and personality and try to become better person and become inspiration to others. However, both having their individual importance. And both support trainee in their development. Not only Rewards can give encouragement but also boost self confidence. Were as penalise hurts their emotion for certain period frame. Later, it become crucial role in their growth. To sum up, both are having their repercussions. Both are used in student advancement towards their future.
It is a myth that, students who encouraged
only
perform
good
rather
then
castigate. In my opinion, it is a contradicting to judge their performance with rewards and punishments.
Basically
, novice, who receive prize
eventually
perform
good
because
with that gifts they
get
a confident to perform better in their up coming examinations and try gain prizes again.
For example
scholar develop a personality that who ever encourage them with valuable things for their accomplishment of getting high grade.
they
get
a boost and want to repeat same performance again.
On the other hand
, through punishment student develop a persona that
helps
him
making
a
good
grade in their
futher
studies and
also
help
them to evaluate
themselfes
with other and making better of themselves. For examples, it
have
been conformed
that through punishment
people
can
change
their attitude and personality and try to become better person and become inspiration to others.
However
, both having their individual importance. And both support trainee in their development. Not
only
Rewards can give encouragement
but
also
boost
self confidence
. Were as
penalise
hurts their emotion for certain period frame. Later, it
become
crucial role in their growth. To sum up, both are having their repercussions. Both are
used
in student advancement towards their future.
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IELTS essay Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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