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Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. 85aOx
It is a frequent topic of discussion that awards are efficacious on education. When comparing how the penalized and awarded pupils affect their mastery in school, the rewarded students show a positive result. I am in complete agreement with this idea due to reasons that will be elaborated on in the following essay. One of the bedrocks of my conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play this. To some extent the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a very young child is both wrong and foolish. Once the age of reason is reached, however, a child can be rewarded for good behavior and discouraged from bad. This kind but firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishment, which might entail many negative consequences unintended by the teachers. Another plausible ground why learners who have successful in their schooling than castigated people is that many awards strengthen students' self-esteem, as a result, their motivation to study increases and their desire to achieve many more new things begins to emerge. At the same time, punishing them can reduce their encouragement to learn and succeed. Additionally, it can damage the school-student interactions, including teacher-student relationships which can affect their learning process shows its significant effect. In conclusion, I firmly believe although punishment is a specific method of learning, rewards are an indispensable incentive.
It is a frequent topic of discussion that awards are efficacious on education. When comparing how the penalized and awarded pupils affect their mastery in school, the rewarded students
show
a
positive
result. I am in complete agreement with this
idea
due to reasons that will
be elaborated
on in the following essay. One of the bedrocks of my conviction is that punishment does not have much of a role to play this. To
some
extent the question depends on the age of the child. To punish a
very
young child is both
wrong
and foolish. Once the age of reason
is reached
,
however
, a child can
be rewarded
for
good
behavior and discouraged from
bad
. This kind
but
firm approach will achieve more than harsh punishment, which might entail
many
negative
consequences unintended by the teachers. Another plausible ground why learners who have successful in their schooling than castigated
people
is
that
many
awards strengthen students' self-esteem,
as a result
, their motivation to study increases and their desire to achieve
many
more new things
begins
to emerge. At the same time, punishing them can
reduce
their encouragement to learn and succeed.
Additionally
, it can damage the school-student interactions, including teacher-student relationships which can affect their learning process
shows
its significant effect.
In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe although punishment is a specific method of learning, rewards are an indispensable incentive.
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IELTS essay Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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