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It is expensive to repair old building, modern building should be built instead. Discuss both options and give your opinion

It is expensive to repair old building, modern building should be built instead. Discuss both options and give your opinion g5Y0g
Housing systems has been changed due to modern technology and development. People has different views, whether repair the old building or construct a new one. In this essay I will discuss about the phenomenon and give my own perception. On the one hand, Ancient buildings has great value of culture and heritage. First of all, Old House has emotional and memorable moments which may be influence many people to keep them. For instance, one building may stand for hundreds of year, many generation go through this building, which may contain family records, and there value. Secondly, it is not necessary to make a new house for living, once can stay there with few changes which may not need plenty of money. Furthmore, build a new building may take huge amount of money which may not need in term of repairing. Lastly, old buildings often has a traditional value for many inhabitants. On the other hand, modern building has different kinds of facilities. To start with, it has suitable environmental for work or study. For example, many new buildings has air conditioning which may encourage people study more and work hard with any worries. Next, nowadays people always busy with their job and when they need some relaxation, and recreational activity it is available in their own home therefore they it is not require to go outside. What is more, earlier apartments has new design, and colour which attracte many people. To racepitulate, although modern building has some obvious benefits but I think it would be better to repair old one and make it appropriate for living with add earlier facilities.
Housing systems has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to modern technology and development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views, whether repair the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
or construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one. In this essay I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
phenomenon and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

On the one hand, Ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
has great value of culture and heritage.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
has emotional and memorable moments which may be influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them.
For instance
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
may stand for hundreds of year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
generation go through this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, which may contain family records, and there value.
Secondly
, it is not necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for living, once can stay there with few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
which may not need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furthmore
, build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
may take huge amount of money which may not need in term of repairing.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
has a traditional value for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inhabitants.

On the other hand
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of facilities. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it has suitable environmental for work or study.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
has air conditioning which may encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
study more and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
with any worries.
Next
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always busy with their job and when they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxation, and recreational activity it is available in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home
therefore
they it is not
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
Did you mean "going"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to go
outside.
What is more
, earlier apartments has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
design, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
which
Possible spelling mistake found.
attracte
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
racepitulate
, although modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be better to repair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it appropriate for living with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
earlier facilities.
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IELTS essay It is expensive to repair old building, modern building should be built instead. Discuss both options and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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