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students learn just because of good marks

students learn just because of good marks 6aWV0
While many people may argue that good grades encourage students to learn, but, in my opinion good grades hinder the ability of a student to develop as a better individual or a complete individual as a whole. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, grades are not related to the learning capability of a student. Good grades can be obtained in a subject even though the student does not have a good grasp on the subject. For example, questions in an exam comes from a limited curriculum and a students can achieve good marks simply by mugging up the entire syllabus even though he has a superficial knowledge of the subject. Additionally, many students can obtain good marks simply by malicious practice. In this case, getting the good marks is the only purpose and desire to learn something is not involved even the slightest. These type of students sure gets the good marks in schools or colleges but fails to perform in the real world. These above examples are true in my personal experiences. I happened to know many students from my school who are top scores but they failed in almost every interviews because of their perfunctory knowledge. So, in summary a desire to learn guarantees good score but vice-versa is not true at all. Secondly, getting good grades in a particular subject sometimes circumscribes the student in that particular field only and stymies his need to pay equal attention to other subjects. We all know someone whose knowledge in a particular subject is profound but fails to answer even simplest questions of domains which are out of his interest. These students develop a penchant towards particular subjects which comes in the way of studying other subjects. For example, there is a friend of mine who has amazing grasp on Calculus and always obtain the highest marks in the class in that particular subject. But, when it comes to Political Science, he is a below average student in the class. We can say that sometimes good grades precludes a student’s desire to explore various subjects. In conclusion, I strongly believe that grades has no relation with a student’s willingness to learn. This is because good grades can be easily obtained and prevents the student from exploring or learning various subjects equally.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may argue that
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good
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grades
encourage
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students
to
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learn
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in my opinion
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good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
hinder the ability of a
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student
to develop as a better individual or a complete individual as a whole. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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grades
are not related to the learning capability of a
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student
.
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Good
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grades
can
be obtained
in a
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subject
even though
the
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student
does not have a
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good
grasp on the
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subject
.
For example
, questions in an exam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from a limited curriculum and a
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students
can achieve
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good
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marks
simply
by mugging up the entire syllabus
even though
he has a superficial knowledge of the
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subject
.
Additionally
,
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can obtain
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good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
simply
by malicious practice.
In this case
, getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose and desire to
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learn
something is not involved even the slightest. These type of
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students
sure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the
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good
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marks
in schools or colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fails to perform in the real world. These above examples are true in my personal experiences. I happened to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from my school who are top scores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they failed in almost every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "interview"?
interviews
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because
of their perfunctory knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in summary a desire to
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learn
guarantees
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good
score
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
vice-versa is not true at all.

Secondly
, getting
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good
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grades
in a
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particular
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subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
circumscribes the
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student
in that
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particular
field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and stymies his need to pay equal attention to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. We all know someone whose knowledge in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is profound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fails to answer even simplest questions of domains which are out of his interest. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop a penchant towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the way of studying other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
For example
, there is a friend of mine who has amazing grasp on Calculus and always obtain the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marks
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to Political Science, he is a below average
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student
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. We can say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
precludes a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
desire to explore various subjects.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
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grades
has no relation with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
willingness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
can be
easily
obtained and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from exploring or learning various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
equally
.
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IELTS essay students learn just because of good marks

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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