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Students generally prefer to choose a period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

Students generally prefer to choose a period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. GMWRj
It is an irrefutable fact, that students need time for work as for leissure. This happens at different educactional levels, from elementary school to College, in different cities around the world. It is disagreeded that students be allowed to do their time managment. The upcomming paragraphs will analyze two factors that contribute for this affirmation, as well as my personal opinion. First, here it is important to analyze student ages. From elementary scholars to University students have an average age around 6 to 25 years old. So, in a word they are young. This means that at these ages students prefer activities like: running, jumping, sport activities, play videogames. Also, for elder students their preferences are going to parties, drink alcohol, have fun. For instance: If they have an exam on Saturday and on Friday a party is comming up, of course they will not miss the party. Eventhough, they have to place a test next day. Second, Colleges need to know what activities their students are having. And not just to forbid leissure activities, more important, to avoid accidents on students. For example: A lot of students left their families and hometowns, with the main goal to get a Degree. However, sometimes when they come to the University, they dissapear for days or weeks. So, parents need to visit the Institution coordinators to look for their suns or daughters. So, Universities and schools need to know the activities that their student are doing. To sum up, some young students do not have a criteria in how to spend their time and they wasted on parties. Thus, it is important that educative institutions organice activities and manage their agendas. in my opinion, this will give a better outcomes on student performance.
It is an irrefutable fact, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
time for work as for
Possible spelling mistake found.
leissure
. This happens at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
educactional
levels, from elementary school to College, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities around the world. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
disagreeded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do their time
Possible spelling mistake found.
managment
. The
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upcomming
paragraphs will analyze two factors that contribute for this affirmation,
as well
as my personal opinion.

First
, here it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to analyze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
ages. From elementary scholars to University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have an average age around 6 to 25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in a word they are young. This means that at these ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like: running, jumping, sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, play
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogames
.
Also
, for elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
their preferences are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
, drink alcohol, have fun.
For instance
: If they have an exam on Saturday and on Friday a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
comming
up,
of course
they will not miss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
place a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
next
day.

Second, Colleges
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need
to know what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are having. And not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to forbid
Possible spelling mistake found.
leissure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, to avoid accidents on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their families and hometowns, with the main goal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a Degree.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the University, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissapear
for days or weeks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to visit the Institution coordinators to look for their suns or daughters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Universities and schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are doing.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not have a criteria in how to spend their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they wasted on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that educative institutions
Possible spelling mistake found.
organice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and manage their agendas.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion, this will give a better outcomes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
performance.
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IELTS essay Students generally prefer to choose a period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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