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friends influence students more or teachers?

friends influence students more or teachers? g58Bg
The influence one percieves from others is one the most crucial concepts in life, as it leads one to shape the behavior and characteristic and shape the ensuing life. hence, one of the most controversial issues amongst many parents to determine whether teachers provide more influence to their children or it is their children's friends who take the influential part. As far as I am concerned in the state of ambivalence, I might lean toward selecting friends. Conceivably, many parents believe that kids are influenced by their supervisors, however, there are reasons such as the same knowledge-base and trust which can declare a higher influence of friends. I will interpret my statement in the following essay. First, a shared amount of wisdom is advantageous to shape the behavior due to the valuable understanding included in it. Being influenced by a person holding the same acknowledgment helps to broaden one's characteristics and enrich one's life in different aspects. To influence a person one should share understandable ideas; ideas from a person with the same knowledge, education, etc. and it is hard to imagine a teacher with such background. Granted, a teacher holds more solid views to share, but a student cannot understand a significant number of those ideas. As an illustrative example, some years ago when I entered high school at Beheshti school in Iran I had a colleague named Sara. Sara was a playful student and preferred to enjoy her time during class than listening to the teacher. In the beginning, everyone assumed that she is going to continue her behavior, ignoring the teachers, but it was not true. Fortunately, Sara's friend convinced her to pay attention during the class, talking about her personal experiences in an understandable language. Sara was meant to be a bad student and the teacher could not influence her, but things did not go as everyone predicted, the friend influenced and saved her academic life. As one can see, being in the same age range influenced the shared knowledge which associates to accepting viewpoints. Secondly, it is not presumptuous to judge a trust level based on shared experiences. No man can truly assume that people who experience the same events will trust each other easier, but it is evident that we trust people who we spend most of our time with easier. Two people who appear to trust each other effortlessly might have spent time together and behave more similar. My personal experiences are the foundation of my next point. One spends most of his or her time with friends which leads them to share certain behavior and is imperative to trust. Surely, it is wiser to assume the friend's influence than to neglect it. I am of the conviction that one needs someone with the same amount of information and behavior to talk to. It is my personal assumption and its effect is evident in the level of trust and idea-acceptance between friends. Regarded the aforementioned reasons, I conclude that students are more influenced by their colleagues, but a coin has two sides and an edge to connect them; so it is wise to not neglect the influence teachers have on the students.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
one
Possible spelling mistake found.
percieves
from others is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the most crucial concepts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, as it leads one to shape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and characteristic and shape the ensuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, one of the most controversial issues amongst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents to determine whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
to their children or it is their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take the influential part. As far as I
am concerned
in the state of ambivalence, I might lean toward selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Conceivably
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents believe that kids
are influenced
by their supervisors,
however
, there are reasons such as the same knowledge-base and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
which can declare a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I will interpret my statement in the following essay.

First
, a shared amount of wisdom is advantageous to shape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
due to the valuable understanding included in it.
Being influenced
by a person holding the same acknowledgment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to broaden one's characteristics and enrich one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
a person one should share understandable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from a person with the same knowledge, education, etc. and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
with such background. Granted, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
holds more solid views to share,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cannot understand a significant number of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. As an illustrative example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years ago when I entered high school at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beheshti
school in Iran I had a colleague named Sara. Sara was a playful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and preferred to enjoy her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
than listening to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. In the beginning, everyone assumed that she is going to continue her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, ignoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was not true.
Fortunately
, Sara's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
convinced her to pay attention during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, talking about her personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in an understandable language. Sara
was meant
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
things did not go as everyone predicted, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
influenced and saved her academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, being in the same age range influenced the shared knowledge which associates to accepting viewpoints.

Secondly
, it is not presumptuous to judge a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
level based on shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. No
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can
truly
assume that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
each other easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is evident that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
we spend most of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with easier. Two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
appear to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
each other
effortlessly
might have spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and behave more similar. My personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are the foundation of my
next
point. One spends most of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
which leads them to share certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and is imperative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
.
Surely
, it is wiser to assume the friend's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
than to neglect it.

I am of the conviction that one needs someone with the same amount of information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
to talk to. It is my personal assumption and its effect is evident in the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trust
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
-acceptance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Regarded the aforementioned reasons, I conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more influenced by their colleagues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a coin has two sides and an edge to connect them;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is wise to not neglect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay friends influence students more or teachers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
529 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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