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students by helping primary school students to read and do mathematics want to help others.

students by helping primary school students to read and do mathematics want to help others. YL3kr
By looking at earth from the space, people realize there is no border between countries, and all the humans belong to one planet. This point can illustrate the necessity of helping others as a duty of each individual. Among different ways people can help others, educating youngsters leads to valuable results which can make it the best way of helping the world. In my view, if some university students want to make a positive effect, they can do it by helping young students to study better. I will elaborate on my opinion with the following reasons. First and foremost, university students by teaching primary school students, can help to educate a generation that can make big changes in the future and solve different problems. Education system is complicated and takes lots of time, but by considering all positive and long term effects it can have on the society, its importance seems more clear. At the first sight, helping young generation to study and do mathematics may seem irrelevant to helping the world, but by educating these talented people who are eager to learn more, they can create valuable results which last for even decades. These educated students can help the society to solve lots of problems in the future. This point proves why educating young students can be the best way of playing a positive role in this would. My own life experience is a compelling example of this point. Five years ago, I did a volunteer job in an elementary school and helped student to study more effectively. As a result of my work, some students could participate in international competitions and win gold medals. Some years later, they started their project on construction of some elements which are stable in humid climates, and could make a big chance in construction industry of my country. Second, university students have experienced different education systems and know them well which makes them able to use them for teaching others in a way the find most useful. All university students have spend at least fifteen years in schools and it has brought them a noticeable amount of experience about education methods. They have seen the effects of different methods, and clearly can states which one could have the best effect. As a result, they can use this great experience and help young students to study by useful methods. Finally, studying in a good education system brings more desire for studying and helps both the whole society and students. For instance, my aunt in a teacher and spends all her free-time in school. She tries to help students realize which studying technique is the best for them and has resulted in helping many of students to study better. Some of her students have became well-know doctors in my country, Iran and could play a significant role in their society. In my eyes, all the positive effects those people have are thanks to the hard effort of my aunt for helping them to educate better. To sum up, by looking around, all the people can notice various ways which can help others. Among all these ways, helping young students to study better can have more positive effects which will last longer as well. It creates a well-educated generation which can play a significant role in solving some problems in the future. Moreover, it help these youngsters to study in the best possible method and learn more. Based on these justifications, my conviction is that university students by helping younger students in their studying can play a good role in their society.
By looking at earth from the space,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize there is no border between countries, and all the humans belong to one planet. This point can illustrate the necessity of helping others as a duty of each individual. Among
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
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help
others, educating youngsters leads to valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
which can
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make
it the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of helping the world. In my view, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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university
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students
want to
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make
a
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positive
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effect
, they can do it by helping
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young
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students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
better. I will elaborate on my opinion with the following reasons.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by teaching primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to educate a generation that can
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make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the future and solve
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different
problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
system
is complicated
and takes lots of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by considering all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and long term effects it can have on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, its importance seems more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
. At the
first
sight, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and do mathematics may seem irrelevant to helping the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by educating these talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are eager to learn more, they can create valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
which last for even decades. These educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to solve lots of problems in the future. This point proves why educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in this would. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life experience is a compelling example of this point. Five years ago, I did a volunteer job in an elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
more
effectively
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of my work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could participate in international competitions and win gold medals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
years later, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their project on construction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elements which are stable in humid climates, and could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chance in construction industry of my country.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
systems and
Did you mean "now"?
know
them well which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for teaching others in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
the find most useful. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
Use past participle here: "spent".
spend
at least fifteen years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and it has brought them a noticeable amount of experience about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, and
clearly
can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "state"
states
which one could have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this great experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
by useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system brings more desire for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
both the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, my aunt in a teacher and spends all her free-time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. She tries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
realize which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
technique is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
for them and has resulted in helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
Use past participle here: "become".
became
well-know doctors in my country, Iran and could play a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my eyes, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have are thanks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
effort of my aunt for helping them to educate better.

To sum up, by looking around, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can notice various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others. Among all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
better can have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects which will last longer
as well
. It creates a well-educated generation which can play a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in solving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems in the future.
Moreover
, it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
these youngsters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
and learn more. Based on these justifications, my conviction is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by helping younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
can play a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay students by helping primary school students to read and do mathematics want to help others.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
597 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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