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Students are asked to work short time without pay as a part of their education. Is this more of an advantage or a disadvantage to student and company ?

Students are asked to work short time without pay as a part of their education. Is this more of an advantage or a disadvantage to student and company? e5baW
Many students feel today that there are lots of difficulties for them while their education. And after this motion, almost all of students try to get money without losing their study in commonly universities. First of all, this must be recognised that the number of students who works anywhere are populating from time to time. According to this feature, their teachers demand more and more home tasks for developing their knowledge with anyways. All of student’s achieves demand him or her more potential and they ask for their boss to cut their working time. I strongly appreciate that students must always be active with study and also with job that they found with all the ways. Take John Grisham for example, who was better known for his hugely successful thriller novels. So, in my opinion, they should short their timetable. On the other hand it is more careful to to both job and study. For example, if you make some while your work, then it takes a long time to solve it. After all, you feel tired and asleep anywhere. In addition, researchers show that if a student work anywhere while study at university, it would decrease his or her knowledge stage with anyway. Because there are many people who don’t have their job who didn’t study at the time in their university. Categorically speaking, you should control yourself all the time. In conclusion, students shouldn’t work any other jobs which are opposite of his or her future speciality if they manage to control their project from time to time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
that there are lots of difficulties for them while their education. And after this motion, almost all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money without losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
commonly
universities.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works anywhere are populating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. According to this feature, their teachers demand more and more home tasks for developing their knowledge with anyways. All of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
achieves demand him or her more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
potential and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
their boss to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
their working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
strongly
appreciate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always be active with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
also
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they found with all the ways. Take John
Possible spelling mistake found.
Grisham
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was better known for his
hugely
successful thriller novels.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, they should short their timetable.

On the other hand
it is more careful
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For example
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
while your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, then it takes a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to solve it.
After all
, you feel tired and asleep anywhere.
In addition
, researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
anywhere while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at university, it would decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
knowledge stage with anyway.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
didn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their university.
Categorically
speaking, you should control yourself all the time.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
shouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which are opposite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
future
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
if they manage to control their project from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Students are asked to work short time without pay as a part of their education. Is this more of an advantage or a disadvantage to student and company?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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