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Student should be encouraged to work part-time. Do you agree or disagree?

Student should be encouraged to work part-time. e5A8O
Job is one of the most important part in our life. It helps us in finances, create relationships and lots of benefits more. These days, students are often suggested to work part-time job after school. Working part-time job is a not bad choice for students because it has magnificant advantages for our skill improvement. First and foremost, working part-time helps you earn extra money. Because students are still in the young age range, they cannot make money themselves. Most students rely on their parents' money to pay for living expenses. However, when they can make money, they have the ability to pay for basic sums of money and no longer need to rely on their parents anymore. As a result, students become more independent in finances and respect the cash more than ever. Secondly, working part-time improves money managing skills. As you start making money of your own, you tend to be more cautious about how you spend your money that you worked hard for. It not only can help you build up long-term savings, but it also makes you become more aware of your cash. Moreover, when you get older, you will have a good money managing skills to avoid debts. Finally, part-time job builds students’ confidence. Indeed, you will be responsible for your own schedule and your money. Moreover, you have the opportunity to meet many people, make more good friends, relationship, develop the socializing skill. As a result, you will rely less on peoplee around you, and you won’t be nervous at crowded place anymore. In conclusion, working part-time job is a great idea for students. If they work at young age, they will be more mature in the future and have a better start.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Please check whether a plural form of 'part' should be used.
part
in our life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us in finances, create relationships and lots of benefits more. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suggested to work part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
Possible spelling mistake found.
magnificant
advantages for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
improvement.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you earn extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
still
in the young age range, they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
themselves. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rely on their parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pay for living expenses.
However
, when they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they have the ability to pay for basic sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and no longer need to rely on their parents anymore.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more independent in finances and respect the cash more than ever.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, you tend to be more cautious about how you spend your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that you worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you build up long-term savings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you become more aware of your cash.
Moreover
, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, you will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to avoid debts.

Finally
, part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
builds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
confidence.
Indeed
, you will be responsible for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedule and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, you have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends, relationship, develop the socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
As a result
, you will rely less on
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoplee
around you, and you won’t be nervous at crowded place anymore.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If they work at young age, they will be more mature in the future and have a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
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IELTS essay Student should be encouraged to work part-time.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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