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Studding for PhD or Master advise request

Studding for PhD or Master advise request N89xW
I am a computer engineer in the field of software engineering and graduated with a master of science with a high degree and two internationally published papers. Due to my 18 years related work experience in a first rank ICT company in Iran and my professional skills as a project manager in my recent career, I am interested in studying postgraduate work in the international academic environment. So, I request you to advise me to study for a PhD or Master's again by my background and attached CV.
I am a computer engineer in the field of software engineering and graduated with a master of science with a high degree and two
internationally
published papers.

Due to my 18 years related work experience in a
first
rank ICT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Iran and my professional 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as a project manager in my recent career, I
am interested
 in studying postgraduate work in the international academic environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I request you to advise me to study for a PhD or Master's again by my background and attached CV.
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IELTS essay Studding for PhD or Master advise request

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
84 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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