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Stress related illness are becoming increasingly popular. Causes and solutions v.2

Stress related illness are becoming increasingly popular. Causes and solutions v. 2
People are increasingly suffering from sicknesses as a result of stress. This essay will discuss the leading causes of stress-related ailments including more extended working hours and increased job pressures. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including improving one’s work-life balance and diet. People are working longer hours than ever before. In addition, they have more job pressures. People place themselves under these unfavorable conditions because the workforce is a competitive domain. For example, some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain high status and a high paying job. This often results in mental and physical suffering because they have to work overtime and take an additional role which can be stressful. Maintaining a good work-life balance and improving one’s diet are both critical to alleviating stress-related illnesses. People need to realize that if they live only for work they will suffer either mentally or physically and a poor diet will further exacerbate these issues. For instance, many employees burn out from working too much and neglecting family, friends, exercise, and hobbies as well as the foods they eat. Therefore, in order to reduce work-related stress, one must include a better ratio of work, rest, recreation and balanced diet. In conclusion, in today’s fast-paced world more and more people are becoming ill as a result of stress. This essay discussed how stress is often caused by long working hours and the workplace pressure. This essay also suggested that the solutions to this problem are to manage a better work-life balance and to eat a healthier diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
increasingly
suffering from sicknesses
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the leading causes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related ailments including more extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours and increased job pressures. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest solutions to these problems including improving one’s work-life balance and diet.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
longer hours than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In addition
, they have more job pressures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
place themselves under these unfavorable conditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the workforce is a competitive domain.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain high status and a high paying job. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in mental and physical suffering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work overtime and take an additional role which can be stressful.

Maintaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life balance and improving one’s diet are both critical to alleviating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related illnesses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to realize that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for work they will suffer either mentally or
physically
and a poor diet will
further
exacerbate these issues.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees burn out from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
too much and neglecting family, friends, exercise, and hobbies
as well
as the foods they eat.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
work-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include a better ratio of work, rest, recreation and balanced diet.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming ill
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
caused by long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours and the workplace pressure. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested that the solutions to this problem are to manage a better work-life balance and to eat a healthier diet.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Stress related illness are becoming increasingly popular. Causes and solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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