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Stress is now a major peoblem in many countries around the world . What are some of the factors in modern society and how can be reduce it?

Stress is now a major peoblem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society and how can be reduce it? pNRy
In this era, anxiety is a big problem for all age groups in all countries. Most of the individuals has been take stress about work. However, there are lots of other aspects how can release stress. I will discuss both points of views in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, it can be seen that most of the people running towards success and ignore pressure on the mind. First and foremost, the competition is very increasing in the whole world regarding anything work, business and so on. However, due to the fact that many people are take stress on the mind. For instance, when the any person do not work in better place than due to how can possible acheive their ambition in life. So, due to people are suffer from stress and through this many health problems create like as, lonely feel, depression and so on. In addition, they do not like talk to other people because they want to be lived in lonely. On the other hand, there are many solutions how can be solve this stress problem. Furthermore, people should be most of the time spend with their family members and friends because to people can feel happy and they can easily share the news with the family and due to they do not pressure on the mind. In addition, there are lots of organizations have been open for put relax to mind such as yoga classes, gym centre and so on. The all of these are more beneficial for release to stress. Consequently, music is the best way how can be relax to mind and reduce to stress. In conclusion, my point of view, stress is a major problem for individuals and special for novice life because mostly the students are take stress about study. However, there are different ways for reduce stress problem.
In this era, anxiety is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for all age groups in all countries. Most of the individuals has been take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
about work.
However
, there are lots of other aspects how can release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. I will discuss both points of views in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
running towards success and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
First
and foremost, the competition is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
increasing in the whole world regarding anything work, business and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
For instance
, when the any person do not work in better place than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to how can possible
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
their ambition in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and through this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
create like as, lonely feel, depression and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
In addition
, they do not like talk to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in lonely.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions how can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be most of the time spend with their family members and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
happy and
they can
easily
share the news with the family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to they do not pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
In addition
, there are lots of organizations have been open for put relax to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
such as yoga classes, gym
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. The all of these are more beneficial for release to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
Consequently
, music is the best way how can be
Consider using the past participle "relaxed"?
relax
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
.
In conclusion
, my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for individuals and special for novice life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
mostly
the students are take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
about study.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay Stress is now a major peoblem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society and how can be reduce it?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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