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strategies of disciplining children. INTEGRATED ESSAY.

strategies of disciplining children. INTEGRATED ESSAY. 6xk60
The reading passage describes the three important strategies of disciplining children and their effectiveness and consequences. Whereas, the lecturer relates the strategies of discipline with the self esteem of a child. Also he points out which strategy is the most effective and which one is least effective. First of all, the passage claims the power strategy to be commonly used to make the children show desired behaviors, however the professor point it out to be the least effective strategy with the consequence which leads to develop a low self-esteem in a child. In addition, he states that this strategy is very often opposed by psychologists. Secondly, the second strategy that the reading passage names as withholding of affection is contrasting with the lecture. According to him discipline means " to teach" and punishment means " to harm" . Hence the withholding of affection is also a negative approach that affects behavior of a child. That means the child may think that good behavior leads to affection and bad behavior causes punishment. So the withholding of something desired object may lead to lowered self esteem. Finally, the professor expresses the management technique to be the best of all strategies in the passage. As he contrasts this technique with the power technique in the beginning and emphasizes that the management technique causes a higher self esteem in a child that is based on explaining and reasoning behind a behavior and the child is disciplined by praising good behavior.
The reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
of disciplining children and their effectiveness and consequences.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the lecturer relates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
of discipline with the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
he points out which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
is the most effective and which one is least effective.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
claims the power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
to be
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
,
however
the professor point it out to be the least effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
with the consequence which leads to develop a low self-esteem in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
In addition
, he states that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
opposed by psychologists.

Secondly
, the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategy
that the reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
names as withholding of affection is contrasting with the lecture. According to him discipline means
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; to
Possible spelling mistake found.
teach&quot
; and punishment means
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; to
Possible spelling mistake found.
harm&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the withholding of affection is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
approach that affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. That means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
leads to affection and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
causes punishment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the withholding of something desired object may lead to lowered
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
.

Finally
, the professor expresses the management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technique
to be the best of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
. As he contrasts this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technique
with the power
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technique
in the beginning and emphasizes that the management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technique
causes a higher
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that
is based
on explaining and reasoning behind a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is disciplined
by praising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
.
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IELTS essay strategies of disciplining children. INTEGRATED ESSAY.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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