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Integrated essay- win-win negotiation.summarize the points made in the reading passage, and then explain how the case study from the lecture supports the reading.

Integrated essay- win-win negotiation. summarize the points made in the reading passage, and then explain how the case study from the lecture supports the reading. yXbRd
The reading passage explains about the win-win negotiation in three major points. Firstly, the both parties exchange some valuable offers without losing anything of greater value. They have to be good listeners, so that they can sort out how to propose a valuable offer to the other side what does not value for themselves. Secondly, to make a win -win negotiation possible, both parties should be aware of each others limitations, hence they can help each other accordingly. Third, both the parties should feel that they made a good deal and readily collaborate to work together to bring profits for both sides. The lecture cites an good example of the win-win negotiation, that supports the points in reading passage. According to him Tony was a soft ware designer, who designed a video game and proposed to a successful multinational company that is an existing seller of video games. But he didn't get the accurate price for the design in comparison to his efforts put into that design. Hence, as the first point presented in the passage, Tony accepted the $12, 000 from the company to invest the money for generating the game and offered the company 60% of the profit, as a result the company agreed to invest in his designing of computer games. Here comes the second point made in the reading passage about the limitations of both parties in a negotiation. so the company asked for a bigger share as it had to spend millions to produce and market the game and Tony agreed for 30%-70% share in the project, which took his project to the further step. Finally, Tony and the company were benefitted with huge profit, that is cited in the passage as the last point in a win-win negotiation. Eventually, Tony was able to open his own game designing company and quit his job, that he could not do earlier due to greater risk. Simultaneously, the company gained a lot of profit because of the success from their collaboration to generate and market Tony's video game. Thus both the parties won with lesser risk and bigger profits.
The reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about the win-win
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiation
in three major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
.
Firstly
, the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
exchange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable offers without losing anything of greater value. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
listeners,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can sort out how to propose a valuable offer to the other side what does not value for themselves.
Secondly
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a win -win
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiation
possible, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
should be aware of each others limitations,
hence
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other
accordingly
. Third, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
should feel that they made a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deal and
readily
collaborate to work together to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
for both sides.

The lecture cites
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of the win-win
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiation
, that supports the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
in reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
. According to him Tony was a soft ware designer, who designed a video game and proposed to a successful multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that is
an existing seller of video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
he didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the accurate price for the design
in comparison
to his efforts put into that design.
Hence
, as the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
presented in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
, Tony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
the $12, 000 from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to invest the money for generating the game and offered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
60% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
,
as a result
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to invest in his designing of computer games.

Here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
made in the reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
about the limitations of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiation
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
a bigger share as it had to spend millions to produce and market the game and Tony
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
for 30%-70% share in the project, which took his project to the
further
step.

Finally
, Tony and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
with huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
, that
is cited
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passage
as the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
in a win-win
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiation
.
Eventually
, Tony was able to open his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
game designing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and quit his job, that he could not do earlier due to greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
Simultaneously
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the success from their collaboration to generate and market Tony's video game.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
won with lesser
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
.
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IELTS essay Integrated essay- win-win negotiation. summarize the points made in the reading passage, and then explain how the case study from the lecture supports the reading.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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