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step out comfort zone of you

step out comfort zone of you MrOk9
When in secondary school, I used to think that. . . would be my goal for 3 years in high school. Why? Because I was taught from childhood by my parents that mathematics is a popular subject and winning a national prize in mathematics is called a success. I grew up with that belief for 9 years in school. But everything has changed since I entered my dream high school, VNU-HCM High School for the GIFted, where very talented students gather. Since I started in Grade 10, I was extremely confident in my abilities and enrolled in the team selection exam. Although I have studied extensively, I was amazed when I read the question. No matter how hard I tried during the exam, I still couldn't do it. I returned home disappointed in myself. It was my worst night ever. I lay thinking about myself until 2 am. Lots of things in my head. I wonder what I've always been confident about until now. Is that what I really like? I studied according to my parents' wishes without regard to my interests. Until I fail, I can still choose to keep trying to achieve the goal that I have set. But I decided to stop to explore something new and suitable for me. It has been a difficult decision and I will face a lot of challenges ahead. At first, I was so confused, I didn't know where to start. I spent too much time in the past studying without paying attention to the things around me. I started to find out what my friends do. And the projects and clubs they participate in really make me admire. I also want to participate but I have no experience, what should I do and I have to face the fear of socializing with crowds, which prevents me from participating in any extracurricular activities while at school secondary. Back in the day, I thought participating in those activities was just a waste of time and didn't help with my studies. But I was wrong. I think it will help me to have many good relationships that can help me develop myself. At that time, the school had an organization to recruit collaborators for the school's activities on Vietnam Teachers' Day, I decided to join because it didn't need any experience.
When in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
would
be my goal for 3 years in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Why?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I
was taught
from childhood by my parents that mathematics is a popular subject and winning a national prize in mathematics
is called
a success. I grew up with that belief for 9 years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
everything has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
since I entered my dream high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
VNU-HCM
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
GIFted
, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
talented students gather. Since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in Grade 10, I was
extremely
confident in my abilities and enrolled in the team selection exam. Although I have studied
extensively
, I
was amazed
when I read the question. No matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
I tried during the exam, I
still
couldn't do it. I returned home disappointed in myself.

It was my worst night ever. I lay thinking about myself until 2 am. Lots of things in my head. I wonder what I've always been confident about until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Is that what I
really
like? I studied according to my parents' wishes without regard to my interests. Until I fail, I can
still
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
trying to achieve the goal that I have set.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to explore something new and suitable for me. It has been a difficult decision and I will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges ahead. At
first
, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
confused, I didn't know where to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
. I spent too much time in the past studying without paying attention to
Consider using "the surrounding things".
the things around me
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to find out what my friends do. And the projects and clubs they participate in
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me admire. I
also
want to participate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have no experience, what should I do and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the fear of socializing with crowds, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
me from participating in any extracurricular activities while at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
secondary. Back in the day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
participating in those activities was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of time and didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with my studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me develop myself. At that time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
had an organization to recruit collaborators for the school's activities on Vietnam Teachers' Day, I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it didn't need any experience.
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IELTS essay step out comfort zone of you

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
388 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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