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Sports must be compulsory at school

Sports must be compulsory at school VPRwm
General statement? Thesis statement? Sports are good for children's physical and mental development. Personally, I completely agree with the idea that sports must be compulsory in school. Physical activities are very good for children's bone and weight development, In addition, they also help children to be smart and agile. Children are at a growing age and love to explore, we should encourage them to play sports more, I have two nephews, one in the city is inactive, plays games and studies, is very shy and offen sick, the other in the countryside often plays football with friends, very agile, confident and healthy. (nên lấy VD chung chung, ko cho cụ thể cá nhân) Between stressful school periods, students need to relax with sports. Sports also help children become more confident, increase their ability to cooperate, work in groups, practice discipline and perseverance In conclusion, for the reason I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that sports becoming a compulsory subject in school.
General statement? Thesis statement?

Sports are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children's physical and mental development.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be compulsory in school.

Physical activities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children's bone and weight development,
In addition
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children to be smart and agile. Children are at a growing age and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore, we should encourage them to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
more, I have two nephews, one in the city is inactive, plays games and studies, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
shy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
offen
sick, the other in the countryside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
plays football with friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
agile, confident and healthy.

(
Possible spelling mistake found.
nên
Possible spelling mistake found.
lấy
VD
Possible typo: you repeated a word
chung chung
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ko
Possible spelling mistake found.
cho
Possible spelling mistake found.
cụ
Possible spelling mistake found.
thể
Possible spelling mistake found.
cá
Possible spelling mistake found.
nhân
)

Between stressful school periods, students need to relax with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children become more confident, increase their ability to cooperate, work in groups, practice discipline and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
perseverance


In conclusion
, for the reason I have mentioned above, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
becoming a compulsory subject in school.
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IELTS essay Sports must be compulsory at school

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
162 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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