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SPORTS DESERVE A GREAT DEAL OF IMPORTANCE IN OUR LIFE. DISCUSS

SPORTS DESERVE A GREAT DEAL OF IMPORTANCE IN OUR LIFE. DISCUSS BMQ09
In today's generation where there is a machine for every small work, physical activities like sports plays a vital role to improve health and make people active. There are various kind of sports which are prime example of it contributing in humans physical development for instance Basketball, volleyball, soccer, badminton etc helps in straightens the back and increase one's height. It's scientifically proven that people playing sports are more fit with healthy body, good immunity and great concentration. Additionally, Outdoor activities are great way to escape from hectic schedules and is denificial to have a refreshing mind and relieve stress. Hence it's advisable for adults to have outdoor sports in their routine since it helps in not only physical growth but mental growth too. In addition to this, Sports can be a Excellent career opportunity bringing fame to talented people. For example Ussain Bolt is one of the famous sprinter of all the time. In conclusion, physical activities, games and outdoor games all are part of sports which are indeed proven very important in people's life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation where there is a machine for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
plays a vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
active.

There are various
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "kinds"?
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are prime example of it contributing in humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
development
for instance
Basketball, volleyball, soccer, badminton etc
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in straightens the back and increase one's height. It's
scientifically
proven that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more fit with healthy body,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
immunity and great concentration.

Additionally
, Outdoor activities are
Please check whether an article is missing: "a great".
great
way to escape from hectic schedules and is
Possible spelling mistake found.
denificial
to have a refreshing mind and relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it's advisable for adults to have outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in their routine since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mental growth too.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
can be
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Excellent career opportunity bringing fame to talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ussain
Bolt is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
sprinter of all the time.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities, games and outdoor games all are part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are
indeed
proven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
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IELTS essay SPORTS DESERVE A GREAT DEAL OF IMPORTANCE IN OUR LIFE. DISCUSS

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
176 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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